#and he hugs him saying manipulative bullshit like

[ask-codeearasure]

STOP LEAVING THIS SHIT IN THE TAGS I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD DUDE

This is the kind of shit that wakes me up from the afternoon sluggishness, the mindset of "fuck everyone I'm not going to work today and everything is shit".

Jesus Christ I'm gonna get you one day. I will make myself an idiot sandwich when I do. I will make you understand the brainrot you curse me with, the dull sense of fascination I feel about these faggots, stages and headcanons and all.

It has become a great point of borderline-obsession for me to imagine Stage 1 and Stage 2's complicated dynamics with Color before they finally both understand he's got no ulterior motives. Then they turn against each other full-force because Stage 1 is a wuss with attachment issues.

I think it would be funny if Stage 2 is the Stage that starts trusting Color first, no apprehensive questions asked, and then Stage 1 starts having a fucking conniption over it, like they don't understand what the fuck #2 is doing or why so they automatically assume the worst when really #2 is just happy to finally have a guy that doesn't treat him like the odd one out or try to alienate him over premeditated assumptions.

#1 recognizing Color is safe and trustworthy is the equivalent to strangling themself to not fuck up the one good thing they have going for them while #2 would appear to just accept it, like a simple "okay" while he's constantly making calculations about the what-ifs anyway. They're both paranoid, but #2 picked up the habit of scheming so he always has a semblance of a plan if anything goes wrong while #1 constantly obsesses over the potential of everything going to shit, not so much how they'd react aside from breaking down, running away, and maybe finding a way to finally die.

Color gives #2 basic fucking respect then goes beyond that as they keep interacting and #2 finds he likes that a lot actually, only for #1 to try and sabotage their relationship through their paranoid bullshit.

And like, I'm not saying #1 has no reason to be this way, they do, it's all just popping up at the wrong time where these behaviors and habits aren't necessary anymore.

#2 is bound to get pissed at #1 openly at some point. He just wants to be around his pookie and chill, no bloodshed needed, and the constant hot-and-cold, yes-and-no, will they-won't they, push-and-pull attitude #1 resorts to makes him realize that maybe, just maybe, he's gonna have to invest in a notebook to start communicating with this bitch thoroughly. Cause his main man, his one trusted guy being pushed away is not doing them any favors and he wouldn't know what to do if Color had enough at some point and just left like #1 seems to want.

So they have this back-and-forth for several months while Stage 3 is the one actually chilling. It gives no fucks about the other two imbeciles, it's enjoying every minute it spends with Color, but may or may not scream when #1 or #2 try to switch in.

...imagine what a blend of #2 and #3 would act like. I think they'd be extremely clingy to Color, maybe hug him with their entire body and stay like that even as he's moving around doing his own thing, but retains the #2 behaviors of studying everything that piques their interest and not responding to much emotional stimuli, and all while they're heavily dissociating. Once separate, neither of them remember where they got that information but just accept it.

ANYWAYS I hate these fucking people, I should stick them in the pear wiggler and lock the door behind them.

#2 I believe, while he's trying to do better through his bond with Color, still has manipulative habits compulsively. He knows he has an issue with that but the problem is he doesn't recognize the hows and why's. But #1 does and reacts the completely wrong way in getting anyone to notice the signs. They are set in fucking over #2 when what #2 actually needs is a clear reference in how he can change these behaviors.

He really does value Color, all of them do, but he feels like at this point in time he's the only one actually being productive about it and that's gonna be another reason why he's so infuriated with #1.

He's trying to get better for his own sake, taking notes and observing Color's needs as well so he can stick by him more effectively. If only #1 stopped destroying those notes under the pretense #2 still thinks of Color as a jumbo-sized lab rat and not the most reliable ride-or-die in existence.

I am waiting for the time #2 finally snaps openly and Color receives a rant about #1 being a bitch while he's stuck in sleep paralysis. That would be one hell of a way to find out yo boy's got suppressed issues he's struggling to sort out himself.

-- Sarco

the way stage 1 handles the other stages and advises others to the same is just both hilarious and sad

“Yeah no don’t trust me when im like that. im sure being told that everything i do or attempt to express is just me manipulating and lying won’t have consequences”

“oh yeah just kill me when im like that. what? I tried to defend myself against being murdered and killed when I was like that? gee golly im just so insane and crazy and violence is all I know you simply must kill me”

“what? hiding this part of myself and trying to suppress and resist it and pretend it doesn’t exist has consequences in that it will only make itself more know the more I resist?..I need to hide all evidence of its existence even more! In fact you should kill me before i ever become like that!”

like is it any wonder you feel so threatened in other stages when you actively turn others against you and encourage them to dehumanize and demonize you, thinking you’re doing anyone any good

[mikakuna]

me watching bruce regret his parenting choices with dick and tim and damien in a genuine way and then seeing him regret his parenting choices with jason in a "i regret raising him/i should've known better/i should've known his true crime alley roots/i made him a failure and he's my mistake" kind of way

[yanderenightmare]

Gojo Satoru

TW: dubcon-ish due to suggestiveness and alcohol, yandere, breakup, depression, schemes, manipulation, office au for some reason

part two in Gojo's pov

fem reader

It’s been two weeks since your breakup—since you got dumped on your sorry ass.

You wished you could say you were fine, wish you could say fuck that guy, anyway, good fucking riddance—that you’d make him regret it, that he didn’t know what he lost, that he’d come crawling back begging your forgiveness soon enough. You really wish you were that girl—the one who gets up and dusts off and gets back out there with her head still held high. You really do.

But no, you’re one of those girls who feel silly getting dressed—worried that you’re trying too hard. Fuck, it’s hopeless. You feel like shit, and you look like shit, and you don’t even want to go out anyway—it’s just some shitty office party at some shitty little bar where everyone’s going to make your breakup their business. It would be best not to go—leave them to talk shit about it behind your back. 

Sure, you could slap on your best tough act and tell them all to go fuck themselves, but why bother? You’re just going to drink too much and end up doing something you regret.

And oh, how right you were.

It’s not even been a good few hours before you’ve got the office slut’s tongue down your throat—all but clinging to him as you press your body up against his. Manicured hands tussled in his pretty white locks, pulling on him while sucking each other’s faces, leeching off the feeling of his hands grabbing your waist—oh god, it feels good to be wanted again.

Yes—yes, this is what you need. Fuck your ex-boyfriend, he’s probably out fucking some skank himself. Well, two can play that game. He’ll see. You’ll make him see. That fucking asshole—

Oh no.

“Wait—stop,” you break off the desperate kissing. 

Hanging your head while steadying your breath, you push both hands flat on his hard chest, keeping him distanced even as he leans after your lips. 

You swallow thickly, then wipe your mouth, taking a step back. “The fuck am I doing…”

You don’t dare look back up at him. Beyond embarrassed, you just want to get out of there as quickly as your feet can carry you—catch the first cab home and forget all about it. Pretend it never happened. 

“Sorry, ‘m gonna go,” you mumble as you start walking away, leaving your confused colleague behind, alone outside the bathroom stalls, still recovering.

You make your way down the hallway with dim neon lights flickering overhead, feeling swallowed up by the graffiti-littered walls.

What a sorry place for mistakes.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I was about to be one of those girls.” You shudder as you wrap yourself in your own hug, feeling silly for wearing a cropped jacket—and why the fuck is your dress so short? You’re not a fucking teenager anymore. “Fucking hell… I’m such a mess.”

“No, wait.” A tug of your jacket holds you in place. Oh, but you really don’t want to look at him. It’s humiliating enough already that you’d sought him out for validation—you don’t need his pity as well. It’s Gojo, for fuck’s sake. A different girl brings him lunch about every day—the whole office knows.

You might just die from the toll of it.

“Com’on. I’m perfect for this, aren’t I?” he asks under his breath while maneuvering you up against the wall again, his dewy breath brushing your scalp as he peers down at you in wait for your answer.

“What are you on about?” You veer away. You should be in a cab already. Better yet, you should have never gone out in the first place. What was your goal here anyway? To not wallow in your own worthlessness? And you really thought seeking Gojo’s seal of approval would make you feel any better about yourself? The office hottie and the century’s ultimate fuckboy?

Fuck, it’s so wrong on so many levels, you feel disgusted with yourself.

“We’re both drunk,” he states, but you don’t really want to hear it—head too filled with your own bullshit to heed any of his. You swear, if he tries any one of his sleazy pick-up lines on you, you’re gonna knee him right in the balls. It would be nice to get fired now anyway—you’d take it as a blessing.

What he says instead is unexpected—brutally and grossly honest, “You need a rebound, right? And I wanna fuck.”

Your thoughts stop shaming you as you look back at him, returning his gaze with an awaiting silence, allowing him to go on.

“So let’s use each other and blame it on the drink.”

It sounds like the lyrics of an angsty heartache song they might have played back inside the bar—the muted thuds seeping in through the walls makes it all but true. And still, there’s something oddly enticing about it, even as it makes you cringe.

“No hard feelings. No strings,” he continues, a small grin playing in the corner of his lips. “Just a good ol’ tit for tat.”

He almost sells it. But you’re just one too many bad nights too tired to buy.

“Don’t be dumb—” you dismiss and try nudging him away again—only, he doesn’t let up.

“C’mon—you’re angry, aren’t you?” he poses with a quirked brow. “What better way to stick it to him than fucking the hottest guy around?”

It stunts you. Suppose that had been exactly your objectives tonight, unknowingly and much to your shame. At least you can find some mediocre solace in your next confession, for as it turns out, “I’m not that kinda girl.”

It’s a depressing outcome. Made even shittier by how you sort of wish you were—that kind of girl. The type who doesn’t let anything get to her, who moves on and doesn’t think twice about it—who fucks the hot guy in front of her and wakes up feeling empowered the next morning. If only you weren’t such a tragic fucking loser…

“Be her for a night?” he suggests, still not having given up. He cups your chin and brushes a thumb over your lips. It’s really intimate, makes you feel pinned beneath that look in his eyes—as if the sky was coming down upon you. His words are low, brushing your face with heat as he says them, “I promise, I’ll make you feel so good you’ll forget all about him.”

Goddamn it—there it is, the fucking pick-up line. Now, it doesn’t really make your knees weak or anything, but you’re sorry to say you can’t deny it’s tempting, either. 

Besides, you really didn’t want to go home and spend the night crying yourself to sleep—again, now paired with regrets about this night on top of it all.

You look at him through the thicket of your mascara, into those big blue puppy-dog eyes looking at you in something so strange such as earnest. Oh God, he really wants to do this for you, doesn’t he? He could go find himself any other girl—everyone had been eyeing him earlier—it’s not too late for him to simply go pick any one of them up. 

Is this his way of being considerate—being a good colleague by offering you a fuck? Ugh… that makes you feel so fucking pathetic. But then again… why does it really matter? You couldn’t really stoop any lower at this point—might as well have some fun while at it, right?

You were out of ice cream anyway…

“C’mon,” he drawls, eyes growing heavier as he leans further in—once again, only a tiny inch separating you. So close you taste his breath and feel his voice on your lips. “Don’t make me beg.” 

You don’t. No, you end up saying not another word. Too busy drowning your sorrows, getting drunk while kissing him breathless.

And oh, you and your bittersweet heartbreak taste so good on his tongue—coercing your boyfriend into dumping you was the greatest ploy for your heart he could ever do.

♡ GOJO SATORU masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist

[probablyintensemuses]

I Miss You, I’m Sorry.

Armando Aretas x black!female reader

🎧- I miss you, I’m sorry- Gracie Abram’s

summary: in an attempt to guard his heart, Armando pushes you away. But how far is too far? And will he ever have a chance to tell you his true feelings?

themes: angst and fluff.

warnings: gore and blood, kidnapping and murder mentioned.

authors note: I’m still obsessed with Armando. The more I think of him, the more I wonder how broken he must be and how confused and overwhelmed he might feel. I hope it can be explored more in future films <3

Hot and iced coffee was passed around to everyone in the compound, everyone but Armando.

You passed them out with a smile, never once looking his way.

The avoidance was purposeful, he could feel it in the way chills spread wide throughout his chest, desperate for the warmth of your gaze.

But you never gave it to him.

And maybe that had something to do with last night.

How he’d gone too far for the last time.

Last night, Armando was in a mood, working late at the compound. You’d found him crushing the weights, pressing out every dreading thought lingering in his head.

Like always, you’d been attempting to talk to him, let him see that he wasn’t alone.

You had approached him just as he was re-racking his weights and heading over to the treadmill.

With a small smile, you handed him a sweat towel. “What’s on your mind?” You asked, gently.

Armando wiped his face with the towel, tossing it to the side. “Nothing.” He grumbled.

You sighed, crossing your arms. “I know you’re lying. You only stay this late and train this hard when somethings bothering you.”

Armando eyed you, the fury of his troubles—his mothers lies and manipulation, all the innocence he’s lost as he killed for her, only for his life and legacy to amount up to nothing—glazing behind his eyes.

“Don’t try your psychologist bullshit on me.” He grumbled.

You swallow. “It is my job.”

“Not with me it’s not,’ he sizes you up with his shirtless frame.

“Armando, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m just checking on you, making sure you’re okay.”

“What do you even know about me?”

You place a hand on his chest, fingers caressing his heart. Armando tries not to melt at the touch, wishing he wasn’t so starved for this kind of affection all his life.

“I know your heart, and I know it’s heavy, because we’re friends.” You say.

Armando grabs your hand, removing it from his chest, before his body decides to suddenly combust.

He lets out a low, resentful chuckle. Armando didn’t have friends. He couldn’t even trust his own blood, let alone some stranger like you.

He didn’t know why you continuously tried to look for the good in him.

There wasn’t any.

He was a cold, hearted killer. And no amount of hugs, smiles, or coffee runs would change that. He wished you’d stop, because he would only hurt you with expectations in the end.

“Who ever said we were friends?” Armando says, coldly.

You frown. “I just thought—,”

Armando presses the treadmills start button, rubber fills the air with a stench.

“I’m surprised you can think, because if you could, you would have notice that our relationship is one sided.”

You frown, clutching at the bottom of your skirt. “Armando, you don’t mean the things you’re saying.” You croak. “I know you don’t.”

Armando takes a step forward, his rising anger pushing you back into a punching bag.

Cornered, Armando leans into. “I mean every, fucking, word.”

You slip past the punching bag, shaking your head. “No.”

Armando can see the tears building in your eyes. His heart burns, but a deep breath snuffs out the flames.

“Yes. Now leave me the fuck alone and get the fuck out before I say something we both regret.”

Armando points to the door.

You bite your lips, salty tears leaking one by one against your warm brown skin.

Armando’s fist shake at his sides, wishing he could punch himself as he watches you leave.

He thought, like many times before you’d be over the spat. But he was wrong, because you still haven’t looked his way.

And he’d kill just to have one last glance at your eyes.

By the time lunch roles around, you and Armando still haven’t talked.

The silence was killing him.

So the moment you hit the corner, walking back from your lunch break, Armando grabs you up, pulling you into a quiet room.

“What the hell,” you push away from him. “Did you just kidnap me?”

“Kidnapping would require me to take you to a second location.”

You roll your eyes, walking towards the door. “Please move. I’m leaving for my prison sessions soon.”

“You still working there part time?” Armando questions. “It’s dangerous.”

You roll your eyes. “Maybe you should come visit for a session one day, considering your mental deficiencies.”

You attempt to leave, but Armando’s hand sticks out, blocking your exit. “You’re not going anywhere, not until you tell me your issue. Are you still mad about what I said last night?”

You pause, folding your arms over your chest. “I thought you wanted me to leave you the fuck alone?”

“So this about last night.’ Armando smacks his lips. “That’s petty.”

“Petty?’ You throw your keys and purse down. “More like downright disrespectful, Armando.”

“Do you want an apology or something?” Armando scoffs.

“No, actually, I came to terms with some things after I left you last night.”

Armando’s eyebrows raise. “Yeah, and what’s that?”

Your smile is crooked, hurt, and so unlike you. “That you were right last night, we aren’t friends.’ You grab your belongings and brush past him. “So let’s continue to act like it, yeah?” You slam the door shut behind yourself, leaving Armando more hallow than before you two had even spoke.

Armando rubs a hand over his face, his hands eventually finding their way to his hips as he lets out a loud sigh.

Had he made the right choice? Had everything he’d said last night been the truth?

Or was he just afraid of the possibility that his mother wasn’t the only one who could betray him? Or that one day you’d go against your gut and see that there was no light in him, at all, and all he’d do is snuff yours out if you got to close.

It wasn’t clear, the truth muddied by desire and fear, but maybe the space was safer for you in the long run. Neither of you could be hurt that way, anyhow.

May he should take you up on your offer and go for a therapy session.

Armando finds his way back inside the compound where he sees the team gathered around one of the large plasma screams, watching a large, bloody fight play out.

“What’s going on?” He asks, catching everyone’s attention.

The footage pauses and everyone remains silent.

Mike swallows, consoling Kelly as she wipes at the tears on her face.

“A riot broke out at the prison.” Dorn swallows hard. “And there’s not doubt that she’s been taken hostage by a patient of hers.”

Armando blinks, shaking his head. “Hostage?” He swallows, his throat drying up. “What the hell do you mean, hostage?”

“I mean the guards can’t find her anywhere in the prison and her office looks like a struggles taken place.’ Dorn sighs, taking a seat. “We can’t even get in contact with her.”

Armando’s fist curl up as he stalks over to Dorn with a fury. “Well you better keep fucking trying geek squad.”

Dorn stands, sizing Armando up. “You don’t think I’m trying. The place is a fucking dead zone right now, no one can get into anything!”

Mike slips between the two, asserting his weight and presence. Armando pushes against him, flashes of what could be your fate play in his mind. “Well try harder, we need her exact location.’ He turns, heading to the armory. “We leave in thirty.”

Kelly stands. “Hold on, leave and go where? We don’t have clearance there.”

Armando slams his hands against the cages guarding the Armory, sending a shock wave through the compound. “Listen here, I don’t give a shit about clearance, and neither should any of y’all. If it was any one of us in that situation, she wouldn’t hesitate, so we should do the same.”

The group is quiet before they join Armando in the armory. They work in heavy silence as they suit up, cleaning and checking their guns.

Armando’s mind reels and slips, imagining what could happen to you. You had no combat or weapons training in the fiel, your specialties lied in communications as a liaison officer for the department. You also oversee some of AMMO’s operations along side Rita.

Going back to school for a PHD in psychology was merely prideful, as you didn’t need too, leading you to work on a thesis in regards to the psychology and reform of prisoners, which is exactly why you were missing now.

If anything happened to you, Armando didn’t think his heart could handle the massive guilt of pushing you away last night and letting you leave today. If someone could grant him one last wish to cling onto you and never let you loose, he’d take it in a heartbeat.

“Armando,’ Mike says, his voice crashing over Armando’s thoughts like a wave. “You ready?”

Armando clocks his gun, shoving a knife into his pants pocket.

“Yeah.” He says.

Mike pats his shoulders. “We’ll bring her home, okay.”

Adrenaline didn’t allow for Armando’s pride to take control, he just nodded, following behind the team as they stepped out and began the pursuit to the hospital.

As the van nears the prison, kelly moves toward the back with an iPad in hand.

“When we get inside, Mike and I will coordinate with the other officers on sight to try and gather as many prisoners as possible. Dorn you’ll be air support with the drowns, and Armando you’ll find—,”

The van comes to a stop and Armando slings his gun around his body, adjusting it in his grip. “I know what I need to do.” He kicks the door open, rushing inside.

Armando slammed through the prison doors, doing a quick sweep of the halls before perusing down them.

The prison smelt of sulfur, gas and water leaking from the ceilings and floors as he walked past. He couldn’t believe this was a place you’d actively chosen to go to, no woman like you deserved to be here.

Armando pushed past a lot of broken cell doors and hiding prisoners, he was just about to turn the corner when a scream erupts from behind him.

Your scream.

His blood freezes over and his fingers clutch and sweat against his guns trigger.

What if he was too late?

What if you were hurt…or worse?

Panic carries him as he bounds down the hall until he reachers the only door.

He sweeps into the room, a large stage front and center, pointing his rifle at the front of the room.

You’re being held hostage by a man whose eyes are darkened and lust field. This must have been your patient.

Armando’s eyes sweep your body. Your cheek is scraped and bleeding blood, along with your forehead, smooshing curls to your face along with sweat and tears.

Your once white pant suit is soiled and bloody and your heels are long gone.

Armando just wants to shoot the man holding you, but he can’t, not without risking your life. The man holds a knife to your neck, pressing in and drawing blood, seeing Armando’s gun, he uses you as a shield.

“Back the fuck up!” He shouts. “Or I slice her open and spray us fucking both with her blood.”

Armando’s heat skips a beat at the thought. His mouth opens, the closes, he knows better than to negotiate as he couldn’t, he was used to just killing for these kinds of threats. But right now this man held the upper hand by holding on to you.

“Armando,’ you said, voicing weak and unsteady. “Leave us, okay.”

Armando shakes his head. “I’m not leaving you, not again.”

You whimper and your eyes shut, leaving tears to spill from them. Your cries alone were enough for Armando to drop a few rounds in this man, but he needed to be strategic. Something like you. He needed to try to use his words because maybe if he had used them earlier or last night he wouldn’t have anything to regret if this was the last time he’d see you alive.

Armando took a few steps forward. “What would make you let her go?”

The man shook, looking around frantically. “A way out of this fucking hell pit.”

Armando shook his head. “What if I said I could you that, off the books.”

The man swallowed, loosening his grip on the knife against your neck. “How? How could you possibly do that when this place is swirling with fucking cops!”

“The way I came in, there’s no cops stationed over there, so let’s make a deal.’ Armando drops his gun, letting it hang at his side. “You let her go and I get you out of here.”

The man narrowed his eyes. “Give me your gun.”

Armando frowned. “Why?”

The knife presses back into your throat and you scream out in searing pain. “So you can’t shoot me fuck head! Now give it to me heart eyes, or I cut her open.”

“Armando! No!”

Armando takes off his gun, placing it on the floor. “It’s okay, el cariño .’ He says. “I’m gonna slide it over at the same time you let her go, okay?”

Armando slides the gun across the room and the man loosens his grip, giving you enough space slip out of his hold.

You limp across the room and fall into Armando’s arms, he catches you with ease, holding you steady.

“¿Estás bien bebé?’ He questions, frantically pushing your curls away from your forehead. “¿Dónde te duele?”

You don’t respond, instead you pass out on his arms. Armando lifts you up bridal style. Heat boils through him at the thought of this man hurting you.

There was no way he was going to let him go now.

“Let’s go,’ the man says, clocking Armando’s gun. “Or it’s her fucking head, then yours.”

Armando walks you and the man towards the exit he came from, hoping to not run into any cops on the way.

His ears were buzzing, he needed a way to dead this situation without jeopardizing your safety anymore than it already was. That’s when he felt something searing in his pocket.

The knife.

Armando sat you down, tucking you against the wall behind a cell door.

“The fuck you doing!” The man shouted, jutting the gun at Armando.

Armando kneels over, pretending to be out of breath. “She’s heavy and I’m tired. I need a break.”

“Nah, muscle-head,’ the man’s says, putting the guns cold muzzle against Armando’s back. “There’s no time to be tired. If she’s too heavy, leave her and come back once you get me out of here.”

Armando smirked.

He’s just where he needed him.

In quick, trained motion, Armando whips his knife out. He turns, slicing the man’s wrist.

The man screams out in paid, dropping the gun. Armando uses his leg and sweeps his feet from under him, casing him to land on his ass.

The man clutches his wrist, crying out in pain. Armando takes no sympathy when he picks up his gun and shoots him thrice in the chest.

Armando scoops you up once more, calling into his coms.

“I’ve got her,’ he breaths. “Get a kit together, she’s pretty bad.”

Armando holds you tight as he walks you down and out of the prison. The warmth of the sun hitting your skin, the glimmer reminding him of just what he’ll never let go of again.

###

A stir shifts Armando awake.

His eyes open, blurry from the nights sleep before sharpening and focusing on you.

You sit up in your bed, holding your torso and groaning in pain.

Armando sits up, grabbing your arm and helping you reposition.

“How are you?” He asks, stuffing your pillows behind your back.

“Where am I?” You mumble, holding your head. You reach up and touch the bandages on your forehead, feeling a sharp pain spread, causing you to hiss.

“The hospital, you were hurt yesterday in the riot.” Armando says, taking your small hand in his larger one.

You nod, and Armando’s heart sinks when he feels you pull your hand from his.

“So what are you doing here?” You ask.

“I’m here with you.”

“Why?” You turn, glaring at him. “I thought we weren’t friends.”

Armando sighs. “Bebita, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“How else could you mean it, Armando?”

His hearts pace quickens, last time he didn’t use his words, he nearly lost you. He didn’t want to risk it and waste anymore time with you. “I was scared.”

“What?” Your voice cracks.

Armando grabs your hand, squeezing it. “I was scared to loose you. I was afraid you’d see how fucked up I am, and just when I thought I had you, you’ll see the monster I am and push me away.”

You shake your head, squeezing Armando’s hand. “No, listen to me,’ you take his face in your hands. “You’re not a monster. You were lied to and you’re hurting.”

Armando melts into your touch as you stroke his cheeks with your thumbs. “I see the good in you, and I’ll always be there for you. I promise.”

A tear slips from Armando’s eyes, the truth of your words bleeding into him through the warmth of your touch. “I’m sorry,” he says, nuzzling into your touch and kissing your palms. “Cariño, lo siento mucho.”

“It’s okay,’ you sniffle. “Come here.” You pull him towards you.

Armando leans in, the hospital bed groaning under his weight as he takes you into his arms.

Armando takes your face into his hands, titling your head, placing his lips onto yours. You two melt into each other, kissing away the physical and mental pain you both harbor.

“I missed you,’ he moans against your lips, holding you tight. “Te extrañé mucho bebé.”

You slip your hands into his hair, pulling him down and on top of you.

“I missed you too.’ Breathlessly, Armando shivers, pressing himself into you. “So never push me away again.” You say.

Armando sucks in a breath, taking in how breathtaking you look underneath him. “Sí, mamá, lo prometo.”

[maeedrg]

SICK GOJO x READER

ᯓ★

Part 1 : gojo x sick reader (it can also be read without part 1, as a standalone)

Synopsis : in which after you being sick, the all mighty Gojo Satoru catches a cold too. Nursing him back to health is quite a challenge, even more for The Strongest ! Him ? Being vulnerable ? Nah.

Words count : 4.6 k

Warnings : fluff, smut, afab reader, slight angst, comfort, pet names, p in v, unprotected sex.

જ⁀➴ ⠀ׂ Autor’s note : English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes !

݁ ⊹ ୨୧ ˖ ࣪ . Enjoy . ⋆ 🩹 ⇅ ˖

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“Nah, I’m too strong for the germs to actually get to me.”

That’s what your stupid boyfriend said when he kissed you multiple times when you were sick. This idiot insisted that because he was The Strongest, he couldn’t catch a cold. And here you are, with the All Mighty Gojo Satoru sulking like a kid to take his medicine, determined that he could use his rct to heal himself. Well, it didn’t work like that.

You were standing in front of him, while he was sitting on the couch, legs sprayed in his usual manspreading way, head turned on the other side of the water glass filled with medicine. You grunt, shaking your head and frowning at his antics.

“Satoru…” you start to say, moving the glass in front of your boyfriend, clearly losing your patience.

“Nuh-uh,” he sucks his lip in between his teeth and activates his infinity the moment the glass was about to touch his lips.

You sigh deeply. He was clearly toying with your nerves, and you were tired of playing this little game anymore. You make a noise of fluster, and now put your hand on your hip like a parent would do when scolding their child.

“Gojo Satoru !” you hiss.

“Uh-oh, the government name…” he whispers sheepishly, tilting his head to look at you through his blindfold.

“Yeah, the government name. If you don’t take your medicine, I’m going to be really mad. I’m not playing with you,” you insist, glaring at him up and down. To be honest, you felt like you were dealing with a little brother, rather than your grown ass adult boyfriend.

A smirk forms on his pretty pink lips, showing you this boyish grin that he always had when having fun. He taps his thigh with his long finger, eying you.

“You look sexy when you’ mad, sweetheart.”

You roll your eyes, clearly not buying his flirting attempt. You even scoff, squeezing tighter the glass in your hand.

“Satoru, stop play-” you get cut off the moment his large hands wraps around your waist, bringing you with ease towards him. He makes you stand in between his legs, his head buried in the comfort of your chest as his arms now hug you tightly to not let you have any room to escape.

“I’m fine, I told you. I can heal myself. I’m not as sick as you were last time,” he says, lifting his blindfold up to allow you to look at his left blue eye staring right back at you.

“You took care of me for one week, and you were the first one to scold me when I lied to you about not being sick and saying I was okay. Don’t you think you should do the same as well ?” you narrow your eyes, fighting back the growing heat in your body at the way he looks at you.

“I’m not lying, I'm confident, that’s different. And I sure as hell will not faint like you did. I’m The Strongest, baby. That’s not a cold that will take me down,” he insists, grining at you wider now.

“Your confidence will kill you one day, ‘toru. And you say that you can heal yourself just right, yet I don’t see any improvement concerning your cold.”

“That’s because-”

“If you don’t take the medicine, that means that you don’t love me,” you cut him, clearly not wanting to deal more with his bullshit. Satoru looks at you chocked, in his usual dramatic way.

“What ? Come on baby, that’s manipulation !” he retorts, hands clenching harder on your clothes to bring you even closer, if that was possible.

“No, that’s called love,” you correct. Your boyfriend sulks, not pleased by this turn of events. Like a pouting kid, he grabs the glass of water and gulps it down in one go. His face distorts in a grimace at the nasty taste, and he puts down behind you the now empty glass.

“Happy now ?” he groans, forcing you to sit back on his lap as he towers back over your frame. You gently caress his head, touching his white snow locks in this tender way that he loves.

“Yeah, you did good.”

“You should praise me more often,” he smirks, before kissing your forehead and making you stand up with him as well. He spins you around and acts all strong by lifting you in his arms, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Yet you could see the slight frown on his forehead, his headache acting up. But he quickly puts back his blindfold on, like a mask to hide to the world how he really feels.

“Now, let’s sleep, I wake up super early tomorrow,” he exclaims as he carries you back to bed, teleporting into your shared room and plopping you down on the mattress in a soft thud.

“Don’t go and do the same mistake I did, If you aren’t feeling well, take your day off,” you whisper softly to him, using this tone of voice that shows seriousness and intimacy. He climbs on top of you, sliding under the covers and bringing you closer to his warm body. You could feel it, even through your thick pajamas.

“Nah. The Strongest can’t rest too much, the world needs him,” he dismissed as if it was nothing, shutting you up by a big hug that almost knocked out your breath.

“And I need him to be healthy too. I can do your missions for you, if needed.”

“Come on, sweetheart. You know I love you, but there is no way in hell I’m letting you handle my work. That’s not your duty, that’s mine,” he scoffs as he looks at you through his blindfold, keeping it up even though it was night time.

“Satoru, you help me with my missions too sometimes. What’s the point if I can't return the favor ?” you lift yourself on your elbows, refuting what your boyfriend just said.

“Because I’m Gojo Satoru, nobody returns my help. That’s not your job, it’s mine,” he answers with a tone that makes you understand he will not change his mind.

“We already had an argument because of it last time, I’m not having it again. You know I hate how you overwork yourself. You have the right to be vulnerable too, you are not a goddamn machine !” you got pissed, not in the mood to have again a stupid discussion about something that should be normal, even more when it’s been years that you are dating your boyfriend.

He should know better than treating you as if you were another one of his fellow coworkers that saw him only as a weapon or the annoying teacher, and nothing more. Satoru stays silent, deciding it was too late to change your mind, or to continue down this path. He sighs and softly makes you lay back down on the bed.

“I know, alright… I promise I’ll be careful tomorrow, yeah ?” he ends up accepting softly.

“You better.” He chuckles at your words.

જ⁀➴ ⠀ׂ

In the morning, you woke up alone in the cold sheets of your bed. You vaguely remember Satoru kissing goodbye the top of your head, leaving for his long day lasting mission outside of Tokyo. Even though you were half asleep at this sweet moment, you remember how he was coughing slightly, clearly trying to muff it down to not wake you up, or to gaslight himself that he was fine.

The day went on, the only information you got from your boyfriend was some texts through the hours. He was updating you about how his boring mission went on, and that he was fine. Yet, he didn’t call you. Weird, you thought. Satoru didn’t want you to hear how his voice was groggy from the cold, and his unstoppable coughing.

He grew moody, his headache making him irritable. The only thing he wanted right now was to be back in the warmth of his bed, and your arms. Satoru couldn’t accept the fact that his cold was getting to him. No way. It wasn’t a silly sickness that would knock him down. No curse or curse user ever managed to, aside from a certain short black haired man that was now dead from his hands. He couldn’t just accept defeat like that ! So he stubbornly did exactly what he didn’t want you to do last time : continue his mission even though he wasn’t feeling well.

He successfully managed to exorcize the curse, quickly even. But not as quick as he was used to. He frowns, even more pissed off. The man was not in the mood right now, and Ijichi didn’t dare say anything when he saw the cold walk Satoru had when returning to the black car. The aura emanating from him was scary, no, terrifying ! It would be a death wish to be on his nerves right now, and Ijichi knew that better than anyone else. The poor man could have fainted from stress when trying to survive the mood of The Strongest, bringing him back to the campus.

Great, Satoru still had work to do. He didn’t even bother going to Shoko, or go to annoy Nanami like he loved to do after a long mission. Even Yuji and Nobara were hiding behind a pillar of the campus, spying on their teacher no matter how Megumi told them not to. After all, they never saw their great teacher looking angry before, or even being sick ! It was comical to them, seeing the white haired sorcerer with both a blindfold and a black surgical mask on his mouth. We could barely see his face.

Satoru wasn’t dumb, he obviously noticed his three silly students following him through the campus. But for once, he didn’t have the ounce of energy to indulge in their little game like he used to.

“Do you think he is acting, or is he really sick ?” asks Nobara, frowning her brown eyebrows and looking at her pink haired best friend.

“I heard him coughing, and being moody, Ijichi looked scared as hell ! Maybe he is on his periods…” mutters Yuji, nodding to himself as if it was the most logical answer. Megumi facepalm, not even knowing what to answer to that statement.

“That’s not how it works, you idiot. Do you even know how periods work ?!” half yells and whispers the teenager girl, slapping the back of his head.

“Uh, of course ! Isn’t it every full moon ?” he confirmed, and she wasn’t sure if he was being serious in his answer or just joking around.

“Do you think I’m a damn werewolf ?!” snaps Nobara.

“Well, last time I saw how your legs were hairy and I-” starts to mutter Yuji, trying to suppress a laugh.

“Yuji, shut your mouth,” sighs Megumi, clearly losing the patience he was supposed to have for the day.

“Great, now we lost teacher Gojo ! He disappeared, all thanks to you !” groans Nobara, shaking her head as she looks at the now empty hallway of the school.

“Hey, it’s not my fault !” Yuji frowns, turning his head towards her.

“Who disappeared ?” Satoru suddenly appears behind the group of teenagers, arms crossed over his chest.

“GAHHHH !” screams the brown and pink haired friends.

“You brats should learn how to spy better.” He sighs saying that, coughing a bit behind his mask.

“That was Nobara’s idea !” quickly says Yuji, pointing at the girl to make himself be the victim of their shenanigans. In reality, it was both their idea, and the poor Megumi was forced to tag along.

“They were worried about how you were doing…” explains the spiky blue haired one as his two friends were fighting in the background.

“Awww, is my little ´gumi worried about me ?” coos Satoru, dropping his moody act for one second.

“...” Megumy stays silent, rolling his eyes and looking away.

“Nah, nothing too bad. But I would be way better if y/n was here,” continues Satoru, sliding his hand in his white hair, trying to stay nonchalant. It was a damn lie. He was sweating, and his normally pearly skin was flushed from the warmth of his body. Thankfully, his blindfold and mask were hiding that.

“L/n finished the day already,” explains Nobara, straightening her hair after punching Yuji.

Satoru was even more annoyed. He still had to do paper work in his office, meaning he would be home very late. It was already time for the sun to set, and he was yet at the beginning of this horrible long work. He sighs, and after a few more words, he leaves to do his work.

Hours pass, and it’s at 11 A.M and a half that Satoru enters back your shared apartment. Without a care in the world, he took off his mask, just wanting to breathe. Hell, even his blindfold is now on the floor ! No matter how his headache was getting stronger, his sensory issues got worse and overwhelming with his cold, so he needed to get rid of these suffocating tissues.

His face was red and his forehead wet, his eyes were hazy, and he took off his shoes in a kick. He almost falls doing that, finally letting him feel how sick he was, dropping the mask of his fake bravado once he is in the safety of his home. He breathes heavily, and spots you standing up from the couch, looking worried.

“Satoru !”

You don’t even have the time to react or to do one more step, that your boyfriend is right in front of you and pins you against the wall, head falling on your shoulder and slowly leaning towards your body.

“Missed you so much, baby…” he slurs out, closing his eyes and having a hard time articulating his words.

You support his body, even if he was twice your figure, and quickly check his forehead. Fuck. He was burning up ! His hazy eyes flutter open to look at you through his long pearly lashes.

“Oh my… let’s get you to bed, alright ? I’ll take care of you,” you whisper to him, but he doesn’t answer, and instead starts to do open mouthed kisses on your neck, sucking the skin. A shiver runs down your body up and down.

“Need you, please,” he whines. After succeeding in acting alright all day, he just wanted to crumble in your arms and get lost in your scent. God, you didn’t know how to react at first. But you snap yourself out of this growing heat in your stomach, cupping his face in your hands. He stares right back at you, and then down at your lips. They looked very, very tasty right now.

“Baby, let’s get you to bed first. I’ll bring you medici-” you get caught off by his lips smashing against yours, his starving cold hands slipping under your pajamas to feel you better. You open your eyes wide, not expecting him to do that. This idiot is giving you all his germs, and there is no way that you will get sick again !

“Don’t care,” Satoru purrs, slipping his tongue inside your mouth sensually. Your error was to moan the moment he grabbed your ass with a possessive hand, allowing him to make out with you. The first seconds you cave in, melting in his embrace and unable to resist the sweet taste of his lips. You squeeze your thighs together, but he parts them with his knee, pressing it against your crotch, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

The moment you feel it, you snap back from the situation and hit his head. Satoru lets out a groan, and you break the kiss, grabbing his wandering hand.

“Satoru, I said we're going to bed, now,” you exclaim, glaring at your tall boyfriend that was crushing you with his weight.

“Good, I want you in bed,” he smirks through his hazy state, ignoring his headache and body screaming from soreness.

“Not for sex,” you quickly correct. He pouts, doing his puppy eyes to you. You shake your head.

“Satoru…” you repeat. He sighs and then uses the last bit of energy he has to teleport you both in your shared bedroom.

Once inside, he falls back down on the mattress, and you swiftly roll on the other side to not get smashed by his tired body. You sit back up and help him lay on his back, wiping his sticky hair from his forehead.

“I come back, ok love ?” Knowing Satoru, you don’t let him have the time to answer before he could have the chance to grasp you back in his arms, quickly leaving.

You take the medicine he needs, a cold and wet towel for his forehead and body to wipe away the sweat. Once you are back, you force him to drink the pills. After some protest that lasted barely a few seconds, Satoru having no strength to fight back, you put the cold and wet tissue over his forehead.

“Are you hungry ? I’ll cook you something warm,” you ask softly, sitting to his side as you open his shirt to take off his dirty cloth.

“Don’t leave me, stay,” he shakes his head, grabbing your wrist surprisingly strongly. Your eyes soften, and you look at his glossy blue eyes from the sickness.

“Toru, I need to leave if you wanna eat.”

“Forget about the food, if I eat, I’ll throw up. Just keep taking care of me by staying here, yeah ?” Satoru shakes his head, adamant on keeping you by his side no matter what. You indulge him and end up nodding.

You softly finish to take off his shirt, without some of his tired help, and wipe the sweat from his flushed torso. He lets out a moan, glossy stare right back at you.

“Baby, If you continue like that, I’ll want more…” he whispers, fingers digging into your wrist.

“Satoru, I’m cleaning you up. Stop being a perv for one minute,” you answer, shaking your head.

He doesn’t answer, just feeling your touch on his burning skin that was cooling down thanks to the wet towel. Once you are finished, you help him take off his pants, and socks, and pass the towel around his limbs. They weren’t dirty, so you quickly finished. Once you are done, Satoru pulls you swiftly towards him.

“I’m cold,” he complains.

You bring back the covers over him, snuggling him inside. Yet, he still complains.

“Take off your clothes,” he instructs you. You frown, not understanding why he was asking you that.

“Satoru that’s-”

“I need warmth, and your naked skin against mine is the best solution to warm me up. Or maybe you are a bit too dumb to know this basic fact,” he explains, his voice meaner than he intended. His bad mood from being sick really made him harder to deal with, but you decide to not let it get to you. For once, he was fully vulnerable in front of you, so there was no time for a silly back and forth.

You take off your clothes without any hesitation, but keep your panties on. The moment you finish slipping off your pants, your boyfriend directly smashes you against his chest, long arms draped around your waist. His face is buried in your neck, inhaling your scent as it was the only thing he could smell. His leg brings you closer, and he sighs of pleasure at your warm skin rubbing against his.

“Maybe you should wear a mask, love,” you whisper.

“No, I can’t breathe with it,” he retorts at the second, shaking his head as his sigh caresses your skin and makes you shiver. You bite your lower lip, you were hoping that you wouldn’t be sick again because of him. That would be … repetitive.

He butterfly kisses your neck, the warmth of your body additioned to his making him even more hazy. Your scent was addictive, and he felt like he was intoxicated. Maybe his cold acted like strong alcohol. You could feel his growing erection against your stomach, his hips suddenly grinding softly. He didn’t even realize what he was doing, he simply was chasing down a desire that was growing inside of him.

“Satoru…” you whisper as you fluster, Satoru turning you around so you are laying on top of him. He brought your hips against him, so that you were now straddling your boyfriend right where he wanted you. It bucked perfectly against your heat, and you took a sharp breath when his mouth was trailing down to your breast.

“Baby, you are sick. You should rest,” you continue, but his mouth was already on your nipple, sucking and tongue twirling around it mindlessly. He didn’t even answer, hips still grinding against yours, making your panties grow wet. A wet patch of precum formed on his boxers, and his eyes looked up at you. He smirks while sucking your second nipple, taking it in his mouth like a lollipop. His blue electric eyes, wet from his sickness and desire, don’t leave yours, not even for a second.

“Told you, I don’t care. You should help me warm me up, I’m still so cold…” he mutters, his teasing grin making your walls crumble.

You bite your lower lip, and gasp the moment he frees his cock with his other hand, and slips it in between your wet folds and the tissue of your panties. The contact makes your eyes almost roll back in your skull, and at the same time he gently bites your nipple and grabs your ass tenderly like some soft meat to massage.

“It’s cold too, and if you really, shit… don’t want to share my germs, I’ll refrain from kissing your lips again, hmm ?” he stats in between groans, now grinding his dick against your cunt in this soft and passionate way that could make you beg him to smash his hips against yours at any given moment.

“It doesn't work like that-” you cut yourself in the middle of your sentence the second a moan slips through your lips when his tip tease the entry of your hole.

“Who fucking cares in the end… please, baby ?” he asks, whining, his lips parted as he catches back his breath. His hair sticks to his forehead, and he lays his flushed cheeks against your shoulders in a plea. Fuck, your logical side and rational thoughts crumble, leaving only need and desire to have more.

“Ok, b-but, let’s go slowly ? You're still feeling sick,” you end up accepting, and a flash of something appears in the eyes of your boyfriend when you pronounce your words.

He bites your shoulder, and slowly slides into your dripping cunt. Inch by inch, until he buckles his hips against yours once your hole swallowed him to the balls. He moans, you do too, yanking your head back. He takes the opportunity to let his tongue travel up your throat, kissing it as he softly and slowly chases down pleasure by moving his hips. He digs his fingers in your back, bringing you impossibly closer.

If he could, he would have been fucking you to death, but God, slow and soft sex was so freaking good as well. He didn’t have the single energy to move too much, lost in a cloud of pleasure, and sickness. He whispers your name like a mantra, and his tip kisses your cervix passionately.

“Shit, so so good. Ahhh…,’ he babbles, groping slightly harder your ass to lift you more easily so he could make you plop back down on his length. You gladly help him by doing half of the work, moving your body in sync and rolling your hips up and down.

“Right here,” you suck in between your teeth these words, riding him slowly. He continues to hit your sweet spot languorously, making your head spin. He kisses your ear and breathes heavily inside of it, soft moans escaping his mouth at how good it felt.

Sweet sex was on another level with Satoru, both of your bodies are connected on a deeper level, making it impossible to think about something else rather than the love and desire that radiates from him. It was slow, but so enjoyable. Each second was marked by soft kisses, meaningful thrusts, and wandering hands caressing each other’s skin.

Satoru wanted to kiss your lips so badly, but he restrained himself, instead latching on your tasty buds, sucking your nipples until they were sore. Or either biting you, leaving the mark of his canines on your skin, a way to distract himself when pleasure was too strong that he just wanted to cum. But no, no. He always managed to make you cum first, that was his own personal rule. He couldn’t cum until you did.

But tonight, his vulnerable sick body and groggy state, made him unable to control it properly. After some minutes, it made Satoru cum thick ropes of white inside your twitching walls that were squeezing him just right. That resulted in you following him the second after, nails scratching his back to try to ride your high. He falls back down on the bed, heavy breath and beating heart in sync with yours. Your boyfriend was beyond exhausted, and your soft flesh and warm body against him didn’t help.

“I love you,” he whispers into this quiet moment of vulnerability, before he literally passes out.

You look at him lovingly, kissing his cheek. After some minutes, you slide off of him, making him lay comfortably on the bed, and clean his body from the sweat and the rest of cum. He always did it for you, so now it was your turn to take care of him. Once you were done, even changing his wet tissue on his forehead, you cuddled him back before falling asleep. You were exhausted too, after all.

જ⁀➴ ⠀ׂ

“Baby, that was so embarrassing ! I never pass out like that after sex !” your boyfriend whines as he swallows his medicine. It was already 11 A.M, and you managed to force Satoru to take his day off to rest and to nurse him back to health.

You chuckle softly, caressing his cheek as you take back the glass of water in your hands.

“Satoru, there is no need to be embarrassed. I’m the one that usually passes out after sex, and yet I don’t get all shy about it.” You smile at him, resulting in his sulking to falter.

“Maybe, but I usually never do. You even cleaned me up, fuck, that’s humiliating, even more for my ego…” He pouts.

You nudge him as you sit back on the bed next to him, looking at his bed hair and you suppress a laugh.

“Of course I cleaned you up ! You always do it for me, so yes, I return the favor. And it’s normal, Satoru. I do it because I love you,” you softly explained.

He huffs, before he brings you under him, suddenly caging you in between his body and the mattress.

“Then lemme show you how much I love you too, and fuck you ‘til you pass out this time.” He grins, licking his lip. You roll your eyes playfully.

“Nuh-uh. You are on a sex ban until you are completely healed, Satoru !” you firmly said, and he looks at you as if you stopped him from eating sweets for a whole year. That was a tragedy !

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO !”

It took three more days for your boyfriend to finally be back on track, and he obediently took all his medicine this time, being extra serious in his healing. You wonder why…

THE END

For more : Y/n’s goodbye letter Gojo x reader

[saints-who-never-existed]

So we all know that Blanky is cool and badass as fuck. That goes without saying. There's a sense, right from the get-go really, that he pretty much always knows what to do in any given situation.

Blanky knows when humour will lift a mood, and when seriousness is required. He knows when to give grace and kindness, and when to dole out much-needed tough-love.

I think it always worth repeating, though, that none of that would be possible without an extremely high degree of empathy and emotional intelligence. To me, that's Blanky's real greatest strength. It's the root of what makes him so cool and badass as fuck so I want to ramble more about some examples of it.

-

In Episode Two, for instance, we have his nighttime conversation with Crozier where Blanky matches the captain's energy beat for beat.

He laughs with him first about the erstwhile reindeer and while he remains optimistic throughout the rest of the scene, he's also honest, both acknowledging Crozier's various fears and drilling down to the root of them immediately - "Aye. You trusted Ross and you trusted Parry."

When Crozier remarks on his perceptiveness, Blanky's incredibly tactful and kind too - a casual "No, it's just that I know you." when in reality Crozier's been doing a horseshit job of concealing his thoughts and they're visible from fuckin' space.

-

In the following episode, I think the response Blanky gives to Little's fearful teatime diatribe is great.

In contrast to Crozier's vague and even condescending reply which only seems to rile him up further, Blanky shuts Little down clearly and firmly but without being unkind. I think a simple, factual response was the right tactic for the lawful-good sort of guy Little is.

I think his accurate judgement of Little's character is further confirmed later in the episode vis a vis the clandestine rescue party. He's right when he says "Lieutenant Little will never agree to it."

-

Another example that's very special to me personally is in Episode Five and it's not Blanky delivering his warning after Crozier punches Fitzjames, or even when he lightens the mood with jokes and toasts before having his own fuckin' leg sawn off (although I could talk about those forever).

It's actually a wee almost throwaway line Blanky utters to McDonald right before he heads up on deck:

"He's ill with it now..."

Crozier's behaved abhorrently to everyone around him up until that point. He's been vicious and manipulative, cruel and thoughtless. Threatening to throw Silna out into the elements and actually following through with Blanky, ordering him out into weather he knows full well is so cold that it literally just killed a man.

It would be so easy for Blanky to decide that that was final straw, that he was done with Crozier's bullshit. But no! Even then, even then, Blanky seems to be able to take a step back to some degree. To recognise Crozier's alcoholism for what it is - a debilitating illness and not some great moral failing.

It used to confuse me to some degree why Blanky would greet Crozier so warmly at Carnivale (other than the fact that the absolute mad-lad is drunk off his ass). Like, that's the man who made the decision that lead to you nearly dying and losing a limb - how can you just hug him as if none of that happened? But the more I thought about that earlier line, the more clearly it spoke of the incredible depth of understanding and feeling Blanky has for Crozier and the more beautiful that relationship became. He can forgive him so quickly because he can see so clearly the true person under the difficult surface.

-

We talk so much about Blanky remaining outside of the horror story the rest of the characters come to inhabit, refusing to dignify it with his presence. And, again, I just think an important part of the reason he's able to do so is that he sees the world around him and the people within in it for exactly what it is and for exactly who they are. It's just a lot harder to jump-scare a man who sees the mask you're wearing from a mile away, and understands precisely why you've donned it.

[bbystark]

toxic!ghost x soft!reader

summary: ghost meets a soft little thing and quickly makes her his and his alone. (based on a request from @catoncrack59!)

a/n: tysm for the request, i'm sorry if it's not exactly what you wanted i did get carried away haha. enjoy!!

mdni mature themes

first sees you when he's freshly home from deployment, stalking the aisles of his local grocery store to fill his empty fridge.

there you are, politely tapping the shoulder of an elderly clerk and asking him where something is. you're in the cutest little sundress, eyes big as you point to an item on your list to show the employee.

he finds himself immediately enthralled. you laugh he gets a glint of your pearly teeth, your canine glinting in the florescent lights, and he's completely done for.

he forgets his quest for frozen tv dinners and finds himself trailing you throughout the grocery store, at one point pretending to be interested in tortilla chips when you glance his way.

you finally stop in the dairy section, quietly browsing the options while you chew on your lip. he briefly wonders what your lips feel like- soft no doubt- and why you needed help finding something so simple.

his question is answered when he's in line at checkout, one person behind you. you make small talk with the cashier, and he learns you just moved here for work, managing a new woman's shelter downtown. what a sweet thing, he thinks, so selfless.

it continues like that for weeks, simon tailing you all around town just to get a glimpse of your sweet smile and calming demeanor. he doesn't know what it is about you, maybe it's how polar opposite the two of you are.

simon thinks you would never be with someone so opposing of what your entire life radiated, but it only fuels the fire he has to claim you.

then he gets deployed. almost goes insane, can't stop thinking about your curves and sickly soft features.

more than once angrily fists his cock in the showers thinking of you beneath him, innocent eyes beckoning him closer.

he almost never feels satisfied after, watching his spend circle the drain feeling mildly disgusted with himself and the fact that you literally weren't even aware of his existence.

finally gets back after months and once again sees you at the grocery store and simply decides that life is too short and you're going to be his one way or the other

decides to grow a pair and ask you where something is, and oh! look at that, sweet little you even guides him to the exact aisle and shelf it's on. he makes up some bullshit about trying to bake and not knowing where to begin, knowing you'll eat the lie up.

ends up getting your number for, you know, baking advice and soon thereafter he's in your little house baking cookies with you

you fall for him almost immediately, big soft man who bakes. simon barely tells you anything about himself, omitting details and changing subjects whenever anything personal comes up. but you don't even notice, too dumb and in the middle of falling in love

simon begins to subtly change after the first two dates

he's already obsessed, and the man hasn't even gotten a kiss on the cheek. but your obvious budding adoration for him just isn't cutting it. no, he wants you to himself.

it's the least he deserves right? a soft, kind, sweet little thing just for fucked up, damaged him. his own personal angel.

He starts with subtle manipulation, getting into your head when you have small tiffs with family and friends and saying they aren't good for you. "you're better off without 'em luv. forget it and come gimmie a hug."

then he's purposefully sabotaging your work, deleting important files and changing things in your calendar so you'll be late or miss things completely. it sends you in a tailspin, and soon you start messing up on your own, completely overwhelmed.

he's always there though, wiping tears off your cheek with calloused thumbs and comforting words.

asks you to move in with him before he even asks you to be his girlfriend, but obviously in this economy you say yes

living in domestic bliss, ignorant bliss, in your case, but bliss nonetheless

then he pushes it a little too far and says he doesn't want you to go to a family dinner back in your home city

you snap at him for the first time ever, and simon would never admit that he chubbed up a little at the sight of your irritated and upset face- it was a sight really, his little princess throwing a tantrum

you tell him that he's being ridiculous, that it's holiday season and you haven't seen your family in forever. simon throws it back in your face with a "aren't I your family luv? gonna leave me all alone here?" and a carefully timed voice crack.

you concur and cancel your flights, and simon apologizes by fucking you so raw you honestly forget what had you so upset when you wake up the next morning.

continues to slowly cut off contact with the outside world. your phone breaks and he replace it with a flip phone like his, saying social media was rotting your brain and this would be good for you. you listen to him, of course.

nearly goes insane when he gets the call that he has to ship out soon. thinks about locking you in the apartment, hiring one of his old buddies to drop groceries off every once in a while.

while tempting, he knows he has to tread lightly with you. he needed to take his time, so he settles with getting you a pretty necklace with a gps tracker in it and wiring his apartment and your car with cameras. crazy? no! he just wants to make sure you're safe and also not interacting with anyone but him and him alone

besides, with his great manipulation guidance, you had basically cut off all your friends and family. the ones who stuck around eventually left (simon threatened them)

so he wasn't worried. however, he does grow worried when he's lonely one night on deployment and pulls up the footage of his apartment, and watches as you find one camera by accident, and go on a rampage throughout his apartment and find the rest. oops, simon really shouldn't have rushed putting those things up.

doesn't really stress, knows he'll just have to wait and go find you again. at least now he won't have to hide just how much he loves you.

enjoy your freedom now and good luck when that man finds you

request more

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

ME AND YOU FOREVER

Pairing.| Darren (Pig) x fem!reader (Runt)

Summary.| Right as you’re about to leave to start your new beginning, Pig has come to reunite with his Runt.

Warnings.| Dubcon, dry humping, head both receiving, 69, manipulation, planned breeding, you’re both 18.

Word count.| 1.3k

It should have been no surprise that he’d appear on your doorstep, even though you told him it was better if he didn’t. Your parents never liked his influence on you, it threatened your education immensely. 

The typical answers if you were to ask someone to describe Darren would be unhinged, unpredictable, impulsive. Darren was a ticking time bomb, but in his mind he was a devoted angel, willing to do anything for you, there was no distance he wouldn’t walk, clearly. 

When you were almost seventeen, your parents enrolled you to a private girls school to force your growth. It was heartbreaking to leave your hometime Cork, more importantly Darren – Pig. 

To say that Darren -your best friend at the time- didn’t take it well was an understatement. Immediately, he demanded that the two of you ran away together, the world was yours for the taking, nothing would get in between your bond. For you were born on the same day, more coincidentally in the same hospital, you were one soul shared between two bodies. Ignorantly and naively, you always turned a blind eye to his true feelings for you. Darren was completely infatuated by you, smitten by your beauty and charm. But you just played along with the King and Queen games, always mindfully keeping him at a foot distance away from devouring you. 

But the day you were moving, set your relationship adrift. Darren tried to force you into staying with him, as if you could do so, he already had it all planned out, you’d move in with him and be happy together. When you dismissed the idea, Darren confessed his undying love for you and forcefully kissed you. Panickly, you shut down his advances, managed to convince him how bad of an idea this all was and he broke down at your feet. As he begged you to stay with him, you held him for hours until he regretfully let you go. 

When you moved to Dublin, he’d still run away and beg you to catch the next train. You always found a reason to convince him to go back home alone. Typically your emails became less frequent over time, the delayed times angered Darren. He’d send repetitive ones demanding that you’d reply. You changed your email address shortly after he sent upsetting, threatening messages. Surprisingly he never came to see you again. 

Now, two years later, you were preparing yourself for college. You had gotten into a campus on the outskirts of London, you were excited for the change. Your parents were out, you were home alone as you hummed a melody. There was a loud, long knock at the door. 

“Runt” Darren smiled widely, immediately taking you in for a bear gripping hug. 

“Darren” you wheezed, frozen in shock, confusion and fear. Even though Darren was always thin, his strength was large.

“I missed you, missed you so fookin’ much” Darren mumbled into your hair as he inhaled the sweet scent that he craved so dearly. 

It was shocking to see how badly your soul had seemed to miss Darren, even though you had thought that you’d gotten over him. However, this was terrifying, how did he manage to track you down, your family had only recently moved in. But Darren seemed to be so unfazed by everything you were asking him, he’d just hum and squeeze you a little tighter. 

“Been thinking of yah everyday, y’know?” Darren smiled, rubbing your shoulders gently. 

“Been thinking about you too Darren!” you squeaked out. But his head pulled back, he looked you in the eye and glared at you. 

“What is that bullshite! It’s Pig!” Darren hissed. 

“Sorry Pig!” you piped out, your body trembled lightly underneath his hold. 

“That ok… Fook, eh, uh, me need to feel yah” Darren shuddered out. 

As his body turned stiff, he slowly ran his firm hands up and down your body, his breathing went rough and low as he felt your curves that had seemed to grow throughout your time apart. When his hands neared your ass, you felt his bulge poke against your front, you gulped and batted your lashes up to him. 

“Pig?” you whispered, frozen physically and mentality. 

“Me body so desperate for yah, missed yah so fookin’ much” Darren huffed up, his eyes swelled, licking his lips at the dirty ideas that were streaming behind his eyes. 

“What are you doing?” you choked out, your body trembling in fear at his act. 

At first, the humps were light, but then his thrusts turned thicker as he grinded himself against your leg, almost like a stray dog. Darren kissed you softly on the cheek, then his kisses expanded around until he kissed your lips, your lips reminded still, however he didn’t seem to care. 

“Me cock is aching for yah…” Darren confessed through a grunt. 

“Pig!” you shrieked as his hands pawed at your rear. 

You were silenced by Darren harshly pressing his lips against yours, his tongue darted into your mouth, your tongues battled for dominance. But Darren was able to force his tongue down your throat, you grumbled into his mouth as he kept your body close to his. His hands were tugging at your clothing, hips grinding against yours as his tongue pressed against every moist inch inside of your mouth. When he finally pulled away, you were left panting for air, Darren smiled innocently at you, whilst he rubbed his hard on. 

“Need to taste yah too… so fookin’ hungry, I didn’t eat all day!” Darren explained through a rushed tone as he pushed you onto the couch. 

You shuddered out as he abruptly yanked down your shorts, he crawled on top of you, his body flipped opposite so his head was by your thighs and his crotch hovered over your face. Darren inhaled your scent, his fingers trembled over your bare cunt initially, he licked his lips. 

“Darren!” you gasped out as his tongue dragged across your entrance. 

“Taste so fookin good babe!” Darren praised before he eagerly attached his mouth back to your cunt. 

He ate you as if you were an ice cream cone on a hot summer's day, his tongue swished around in every direction. Those roughly trimmed fingernails of his dug into your thighs. Impulsively, his hips pressed against your face, you cringed underneath him and begged him to get off but he ignored your desperate pleas. 

“Can you take me into yah mouth babe?” Darren panted, his face poked out from between his arm and chest. 

He took your whimpers as a yes and quickly freed his throbbing length. You mewled, your mouth closed shut as he pressed his tip against you. Darren huffed, momentarily he believed if he kept on poking your lips with his dick you’d suddenly open up. Resulting in another solution, he pressed a finger inside of you and you squealed out. 

As his cock quickly slipped into your widening hole, you moaned around his size. It wasn’t necessarily long, but the man had girth. Darren grumbled out and moved you both onto your sides, his hips bucked, your thighs locked his head in. Whilst his tongue willingly darted in and out of you, you grumbled, choked and gagged around him. 

All he could think about was filling your sweet pussy with his babba. A small one would force you to stay with him. He’d get a job to take care of your little family, you’d stay home and look after the first of many babbas. 

“Fuck babe… So fookin’ good” Darren whined out. 

Suddenly, Darren’s eyes rolled back, his hips locked in and his member bursted inside of you. Darren whined out pathetically, he bit onto your inner thigh as his legs trembled, your mewls added extra vibrations for his sensitive member. 

“Missed yah so fookin bad!” Darren hissed out, his eyes squeezed shut. “Pig and Runt forever, reunited at last! Never gonna see another day wit-out you! Mine! My babe, my queen, my Runt!” Darren cheered. 

As his cock slipped out of your mouth, you heaved out, too afraid to say anything back to him.

[arceus-insanity]

Something I never particularly liked about Endeavor's atonement, is that he never gave or gave up anything he actually wanted.

Like Endeavor was always willing to risk his life and limb as a hero, so any life-threatening risks or bodily harm he receives is just part of the job he was always willing to do from the beginning.

Him building a house for his remaining family members, only he won't be there?

Endeavor never cared whether he lived with his family or not, all that mattered to him was creating the strongest hero in Shoto.

So he never showed any want to be with his family until Shoto was already on his way to being a great hero.

It was barely an afterthought to him that was never followed through on.

The ending only makes all this worse, because it looks like he replaced each member of his family that he lost with heroes, the people he really wanted to be around...

Fuyumi = Burnin, onima = Natsuo, Hawks = Touya

Shoto on the path to heroic success.

And Rei there too, I guess for some reason???

Just wheeling him around...

Do you feel similarly or different about all this?

DING DING DING We have a winner!

Endeavor never has to sacrifice anything, he never chooses his family over his precious number one spot. He only even remembered they existed after he got his Precious.

And something I noticed is he is full of shit, and believes his own shit.

Like he thinks that 'oh I'll make a house for all my family members to live in' (Which we never see happen, so once again empty bullshit as always). But he never asks them what they want, it is incredibly bold to assume they would all want to live together, or even be able to with their careers, and if the kids want to start their own families. We also know Shoto likes traditional Japanese flooring, but what about the rest of them, and does Endeavor even know that?

One thing I've never seen anyone call out is his manipulative gaslighting speech to Natsuo after being rescued from Ending. He says that he didn't save Natsuo because he didn't want to make like Natsuo feel like he has to forgive him, only to without hesitation force him into a hug. So fucking much for respecting Natsuo's autonomy.

And this ain't the first time this lazy coward has froze when his kids are in immediate danger, we see him standing safely outside the flames with his fire resistance while Touya who's weak to fire burned on the peak. With Endeavor of course claiming 'he did everything he could'.

We also find out he harrassed Fuyumi into giving him Shoto's, his fucking masterpiece, number. Which he uses to text Shoto, in the middle of not just his workday, but fucking class hours! So much is wrong with this, this doesn't make him look good or show any atonement or redemption. What it does is make me think a lot less of both this excuse of a human being and his daughter (The start of her enabler arc). He's doubling down on past behaviour, quite stupidly I might add. And why the fuck did he need to get it from Fuyumi? Presumably, he's the one paying for the phone, he should just have the number from that!

Once again this man openly admits he only offered the work-study to Deku and Bakugou to manipulate Shoto. And constantly favors him when it comes to teaching. Understanding Deku's word vomit isn't difficult, even with him stupidly over-explaining it

What we don't see (or hear of) is him doing anything for or with Fuyumi, the only kid that wants anything to do with him (despite her character profile saying she resents him)

He is constantly given credit for shit he actively isn't doing!

But he and the narrative constantly throw him a pity party the second consequences are even hinted at. Not to mention he is also constantly rewarded for his (non-existent) efforts, Shoto chooses to work with him, Rei forgives him, Hawks, Burnin, Best Jeanist, etc are around to lick his boots clean and make sure he doesn't have to face any of those hinted at consequences. Boo fucking Hoo, the League (and specifically Dabi in this) deserved to win, and by the end, I was convinced that they would have been better for society

[lilacgaby]

serenity | 04

~1.5k

chapter select!

katsuki felt his heart drop as shinto grabbed her hands into his, and pulled her into a hug.

but he quickly felt murderous thoughts climb into his head as shinto glared into his eyes, possessively holding her.

"i'm so glad you're okay [name]." he said, pulling back for a second to look her over obnoxiously. his charades were obvious to katsuki, his words and frets seeming too fake, his eyes blank but his expression worried.

this guy is full of bullshit. katsuki thought.

"i'm so glad i found you [name]. now, we can go home." shinto said, darting his face into her neck. in the manga, he'd always been the fan-hated love interest. he was overly touchy, a bit manipulative, and worst of all, he had a dumbass hair cut. his only reedeming feature was that he was drawn as a conventionally attractive, rich guy, but other than that he was the worst type of man to be around.

"what? what do you mean go home? you know how?" [name] said, attempting to step away from him, but he held her arms in place.

"i do, you see, i was transferred here with that.. urameshi. he already went home, we just had to do a bit of convincing with that guy. don't worry about that urameshi though.. he's good as new." the dark undertone to his words didn't go unnoticed by katsuki, but [name] seemed too preoccupied by worry to notice it.

"that guy?" katsuki said, finally placing himself in the middle of shinto and [name], pushing him off her like he'd imagined doing so many times before in his self-inserts.

"...yes that guy, the one that brought us here, 2-D." he said, strangely, as if he hated having to acknowledge bakugo's presence. shinto had always been the stuck-up bitch in the series, and he really was living up to his name at the moment.

"oh yeah, so where is he then?" katsuki questioned, bringing [name] to his side.

"i'll take you to him, but the second we do she's coming home with me." shinto declared, already reaching out for [name]'s hand to pull her along.

after katsuki quickly slapped it down, [name] voiced her opinion. "wait, shinto i want to think about this."

"what? the fu--" he sighed, pinching his nose. "what do you mean thinking about this [name]? you have nobody here, you're a burden to most and an acquaintance to some. now, you coming or not."

"don't talk to her that way shit face." katsuki said, shoving him backwards.

"what are you gonna do about it? she knows i'm right, and you need me anyways. now, let's go."

[name] had to (unwillingly) hold katsuki back from killing shinto in that moment.

as shinto lead the way, he started to voice his displeasure at [name]'s earlier opposition. "you know [name], you only feel special now because you're apart of our little show, right? you're popular now, but what about when the show dies? are you going to come crying back to our tokyo? or stay in the lame ass city." he laughed.

"don't talk to her that way, shit head. she doesn't need a reason to want to stay somewhere, she's allowed to feel how she wan--"

"aren't you just saying that because you have a total crush on her? be real with yourself."

he shook his head, "no, i'll admit i have feelings for her but, she's a person first. her feelings matter regardless of whether i hated her as much as your ass, or if i loved her as much as i do."

"well isn't that sweet. too bad though, wanna know a secret?"

the three stopped in an enclosed alley, [name] and katsuki both feeling uncomfortable at the small proximity of the area.

"shinto, i don't like this, where's 2--"

"i said, you wanna know a secret?"

she was shut up by him once again, and the two regrettably nodded.

"well,

I'm 2-D."

in the split second where [name]'s eyes shot wide and katsuki's glared in annoyance, shinto had once again shot the beam directly at [name], which in turn..

sent her back to their tokyo. in their world.

"you bastard, bring her back!"

"watch out for what you say guy, she's not in your world anymore."

and with a sick laugh, 'shinto' was sent back into his world.

leaving bakugo all alone, like he started.

"damn it." he wearily said, eyeing the spot where she once stood.

"i didn't even say goodbye."

                         ‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈ ✧̣̇ ┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚

[name] woke up right where she remembered leaving off,

crashed onto the floor.

as she stood up, taking in her surroundings, she felt nauseous. she felt lied to, betrayed. 'shinto' had the power to travel from this realm of existence, and used it to go attack people in some other world. her hand clung to her chest as she felt a pain in her heart.

"katsuki.." she muttered softly.

her head begun to spin at the amount of lies she blindly believed, held close to her heart.

but it all made sense now. the missed calls, random days out, the obsession with the occult and contacting spirits: it was all just a ploy. and to be honest, the worst part of it all?

she realized that everything good she had saw in shinto, had been real in katsuki.

as she stumbled around her room at the realization, the realization that the man she truly had a crush on was a universe away, she finally shakily toppled onto her bed.

after a few moments of self-loathing and internal attempts to try and problem solve for herself, she received a phone call.

it was shinto.

she was tempted to decline, or to tell him to fuck off the second she answered, but as she remembered the scope of his power, she decided to answer passively. "what do you want? you- you monster!"

or as passively as she could at the moment.

shinto's haunting laughs broke through the eerie silence of the call. "i'll tell you three fun facts about me: one, i've been able to travel ever since we've opened the occult club together. we awakened something within me with one of those meaningless rituals, and i've been traveling back and forth since."

"so, you never thought to use your gift for good?"

"gift? please, humble your thinking [name]. powers are never a gift, and this could have never been used in any way other than to serve me, so why even bother?

anyways, fact two: i hate everyone in this world. every conflict, bad thought, bad weather? it's all been because of me. but you.. i really do love you. i felt so upset when you were gone, even my placebo didn't end up working for me, so i went back to save you!"

"you.. what's wrong with you? you're clinically insane."

"and three: the best one. i can manipulate memories themselves. you see, my control goes beyond action, it goes internally. i change the very core of the characters i control. why do you think the hulk murdered thirteen innocents in your little boyfriend's world yesterday? why do you think superman was suddenly let out in america on a genocidal mission. it was all me, every single bit of it."

"you.. you're sick."

"but i'm not going to change your memory [name]. in fact, you're going to remember all of this. i want you to remember me, and your boyfriend in that other world."

".."

"cat got your tongue? that's okay, because i'm going to tell you a very fun fact about yourself. listen up, okay? oh, but this will require a visual representation, so go ahead and walk to school for me, kay? you don't have to be on a call with me, you'll see what i mean for myself."

she declined the call. she didn't want to see what was awaiting her, but she didn't want to find out from other means.

each step to the school building was a drag, the ghosts around her eyed her with sorrow, as if to say sorry for what was going to happen. she walked step by step, one by one, anxiously waiting for what was awaiting her.

the tears came instantly at the sight.

it was her, walking around plain as day, happily clinging to urameshi as she spoke about the day she had.

urameshi, who didn't even notice that it wasn't her. that she was a fake, that [name] was so easily replaced.

and shinto, who stood walking out behind her, glancing in the real [name]'s direction as they continued walking off to the cafe where they studied together weekly.

something was horrifically wrong.

[m4rs-ex3]

s7 spoilers ✨✨

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ok

"death alive" fucking snipe me the insane death motif that seems to be present here is killing me pun intended

GRAAAHAHAHHGROWLS IM SO EXCITED I CAN TEVEN

"i don't want to be separated again"

"i don't want to be separated again"

stop it right tf now bc this is literally what i have been wanting one of them to say so badly. also smooch. dear christ

the fact that terry wants so badly for him and claudia to be free that he is pleading with fucking archmage aaravos himself. like ik they're partners in crime atp but still my guy has balls. the dedication. poor thing 😭

aaravos fucking leading claudia on with even more hope of viren being saved - his own backstory making the way he's manipulating her grief 10x more twisted - and terry seeing right through his bullshit..... im foaming at the mouth

fuckin.g- FOR ME?!?!?!?!?!?

CALLUM SOBBING OVER EZRAN??? (dreamer's nightmare was prepping us for this huh)

SOREN APOLOGIZING TO CALLUM?? (for what i do not know) EMOTIONAL CALLUM/SOREN HUG DEAR GOD ALL IVE EVER WANTED

the making of a primal stone, more moon magic, a quest for an ingredient, insane biblical imagery... once again, FOR ME??!?!?!?!??!

"AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!"

NECROMANCY!! just what this show needed omg

astrid my love. i was a little worried post-s6/pre-date announcement that we really wouldn't see that much, if any, of the celestial elves, but oh ho ho i can't believe i ever doubted you tdp. like you're telling me that astrid is tired of watching, of being the wise observers (especially now that her own brother has been so far removed from, well, being a non-all-seeing prophet), and that all she wants is to, for once, do something about all the tragedy she knows is coming and hasn't been able to do anything about? christmas fucking morning i tell you

goddamn the true extent and emphasized tragedy of katolis has been brought up enough that you just know they're not messing around

NO STOP SEEING SARAI AND HARROW NEXT TO GROWN AND CURRENTLY FCUKED UP EZRAN IS GOING TO FUCKING DEMOLISH ME

obviously ez being angry is just wow omg teehee but just. immediately being so vengeful and wanting to "destroy him" with zero hang-ups is.......... yeah wow omg teehee

"it's great!" i genuinely trust that with my life

ok hello this will most certainly be the most incredible visual to ever exist holy shit. also this is making me realize that we've never actual seen ez on the throne in arc 2 and i mean that's insane enough

this is incredible what can i say. i can see it now: rayla shoving worms in his face like "JUST EAT THE FUCKING WORMS ITS GOOD FOR YOU ASSHOLE" and runaan fighting her like a toddler refusing to eat his vegetables (except it's the opposite bc it's a vegetarian father refusing to eat his grubs)

i love how out of touch aaravos is (makes sense after centuries underneath inside of a rock) bc in what world is this normal. i highly doubt they have snow white or the bible but still it's just human nature to be weirded tf out by that. also yes @zuppizup ur so right his affinity for fruit being played on is amazing

also corvus: yeah yeah uh huh right and what exactly is your name, sir? aaravos: ah yes my name! it's uh uhh i mean it's uhhhhhhhhhhh. jofus

TWO IN THE FIRST EPISODE (which worries me but anyhow) IN THE FORM OF A GOODBYE AND A REUNION AND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE TOO???? AS A TREAT??????????

i'm all for ezran ripping runaan to shreds but i can't exactly say i see the correlation here. although that is kinda funny. it's like when i can't find my phone or smth so i just look at my dog and go "whiskey did you eat it" (she's been asleep this whole time and also she has never eaten/chewed on an object in her life)

also help inigo montoya ahh

ok 1) i, much like everyone else, kinda presumed that the tension would mostly be between ezran and callum and he wouldn't really hold anything against rayla, but the act of straight up arresting him really makes me wonder how rayla's gonna react 2) i really need to see callum's reaction (mainly out of defending rayla, but also because i can see him kinda being like "HEY i JUST freed him bro fuck you") and 3) the way that it is emphasized that soren is the one to arrest him..... idk i just figured that between his love for rayla, his own daddy issues (+the fact that viren was the one to imprison him so it would kinda be like righting his wrong), and that harrow was in fact not his father so compared to ezran he'd have a lot less resentment (he was of course still his king and soren had to actually watch it so still some but like. comparatively) i didn't think he'd be this combative but i'm certainly not complaining. the more angst the merrier

AW YEAH BOYS SHES COMING TO KATOLIS!!!!!

this has been your incoherent, feral mars commentary.* thank you

[lesbians4armand]

Electra Heart is an Armand album - a thesis

Some of you may remember my preacher's daughter thesis of a very similar nature. Well, I'm back on my bullshit :) Somewhat for @misslovelace who I think will appreciate this

(under a cut as it will be long)

Bubblegum Bitch

Not a song I have ever particularly associated with Armand, If I am honest, so not the strongest of starts, but the more I think, the more it comes together. It's a very Amadeo song, really.

"Got a figure like a pinup, got a figure like a doll, don't care if you think I'm dumb, I don't care at all"

So much of Armand's self worth is so directly tied to his outward appearance and perceived beauty, that he is so used to playing into it, he simply doesn't care as much any more, he stopped caring even when he was mortal.

"I'm the girl you'd die for"

More than you'd know it. Many have.

"I'll chew you up and I'll spit you out, cause that's what young love is all about"

Knowing his beauty and effect on other men, Amadeo played into it, intentionally seeking out men who desired his youth and beauty as a distraction, only to cast them off. Of course this ends badly for him in the books as it eventually leads to his murder.

Primadonna

This song I don't have a lyric breakdown for as I don't think it fits Armand lyric-for-lyric, but more as a whole, his deep desire to be loved, to be adored, to be given everything, then his misery hidden not so far from the surface beneath. And you know he'd do anything for what he wants, even if it ruins him.

Lies

The first of the darker songs of the album, and immediately a deeply Armand song. I find myself debating what period of his life it fits the best, and I keep coming back to book-loumand's relationship.

"You're never gonna love me, so what's the use?"

Armand wants so much to be loved, to be desired more that superficially. Everyone wants him for what they can take, nobody wants him for what he is. When he meets Louis, he thinks maybe he will be, and in a way he is, they do love each other, but still not as Armand wants. louis is cold, distant, yearning for Lestat, who also brushed him off. What's the use in playing this game?

"Why don't we just pretend? Lies, don't wanna know"

Veering back into show loumand, why don't they just pretend? Armand lies and manipulates so they can pretend that they are happy together and that Armand did not kill Louis daughter and push Lois to attempted suicide.

"Can't let you go, can't let you go"

What is says there, the only thing Armand dreads more than not being loved is being entirely alone. He can't let Louis go even through all of this, as he cannot be alone, he can't.

"I just want it to be perfect, to believe it's all been worth the fight"

Again, if Armand crafts it to his perfections, maybe he will convince himself he is alright as he is, that is is worth everything he is done and that was done to him.

Homewrecker

Again, not one I have much lyrical breakdown on I'm afraid, however it does give me a strong vibe of both Armand's last mortal years in Venice as Amadeo, and also his relationship with Lestat. This one I just have to mentally transmit into your mind. Do you get it?

Starring Role

Okayyy I have a lot for this one. One of the loumand songs of all time, to me. Lets go.

"You're hard to hug, tough to talk to, and I never fall asleep / when you're in my bed, all you give me is a heartbeat"

I am not a loumand bed death truther, however I am a loumand zero emotional intimacy truther. There were whips and chains of all sorts on their walls, but in bed they sit so far apart, barely speaking.

"I've turned into a statue, and it makes me feel depressed/ cause the only time you open up is when we get undressed"

Much the same as my previous comment, but the statue lyric reminds me so much of Armand as Rashid, so still and silent in the corner of the room during s1.

"You don't love me, big fucking deal / I'll never tell you how I feel / You don't love me, not a big deal, I'll never tell you how I feel"

Again and again, lack of emotional intimacy, lack of any communication, lack of real desire.

"It almost feels like a joke to play a part, when you are not a starring role in someone else's heart"

From what I have said, you may be surprised by this, but I do believe Louis and Armand loved each other, I do. I think they'll love each other again, this is part of the tragedy, the horror. The love was there. What I don't believe, is that Armand was the love of Louis' life, and he knew that. He was not the "starring role," so to say, as he wanted to be. He may have wanted Louis more than anyone in the world, but Louis didn't feel the same, though he did love Armand, it was not enough for him, it felt like a joke, a cruelty. This is of course what causes Armand betrayal in Paris. Tragedy after tragedy.

"Sometimes I ignore you, so I feel in control / Cause really I adore you, and I can't leave you alone"

Armand patterns of neglect and abuse to find power he wishes for as he feels it is the only way to have any power combined with his consistent ned to never be alone are a horrifying combination. This lyric describes perfectly to me Armand's treatment of Louis after his attempt in 1973, his neglect so Louis stayed weak and under his command because he would not let him leave him, in any way.

"You're like my dad, you'd get on well, I send my best regards from hell"

This is interesting, as I do not believe that Louis actually is like Marius in any way despite the "Maitre" power play the pair had happening. It is at its core, a badly communicated and deeply fucked up projection from Armand to be a victim again, to want Louis to be like Marius so that he feels loved again in the way he sees love, but also to explain why he does what he does to Louis. They would not get on well, but Armand wants them to. It's all projection.

"I wait for you to open up, to give yourself to me / But nothing's ever gonna give, I'll never set you free"

He waits and waits to be the one that Louis wants, truly wants not just out of spite, but realises it won't happen and resolves to simply bearing, and making sure Louis can't leave him anyway, trapping them both in this prison. He'll never set them free, he's thrown the key away. Until Daniel finds it, of course.

The State of Dreaming

I see TSoD as a very TDV-era Armand song, post-Lestat and pre-Louis. Of course, "my life is a play" is a very obvious lyric, but the entire vibe of the song as a dark dreamlike state of performance you cannot escape is so fitting for Armand's years in a theatre cult coven.

Power & Control

Lesmand. I don't have any more to say here. It's lesmand.

Living Dead

This one is too obvious I fear but I'll mention it anyway. He is. Literally.

Teen Idle

Ah, where to start. Every troubled teen's anthem, a very Armand (particularly bookmand) song.

"I wanna be a bottle blonde, I don't know why but I feel conned / I wnna be an idle teen, I wish I hadn't been so clean"

The blondeness here is metaphorical I think, metaphorical for a sort of beauty that is intention, wanted, enhanced, something that you create, not something cursed to you. Armand feels conned by his beauty, something desired and coveted making many things worse for him, more difficult, causing so much pain.

He wants to be an idle teen, to to have been perhaps. Not as he was, as Amadeo was, so... busy, with so much, so many. Or maybe he wished he had been more so, less clean, less quick, messier. Maybe that would have spared him pain too.

"I wanna stay inside all day, I want the world to go away"

Easy thing to say as a vampire, especially an eternally teenage one.

"I want blood, guts and chocolate cake, I want to be a real fake"

He wants indulgent things, vampiric and human, anything he can get.

"Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible"

Armand's religious backstory, what more can I say. His loss of faith and difficulties with it are laid so clear here.

"The pretty lies, the ugly truth"

What more is there to Armand?

"The day has come where I have died, only to find I've come alive"

A teenager, forever. Dead, perfect.

"I wanna be a virgin pure, a 21st Century whore / I want back my virginity, so I can feel infinity"

I've been sitting here for minutes thinking of what I can say about this but its all in the lyrics. You already know.

"I wanna drink until I ache, I wanna make a big mistake, I want blood guts and angel cake"

Drinking until he aches has a double meaning to me, both his desire for blood as a vampire and for alcohol as mortal. The big mistake is either seducing Lord Harlech, or wishing to be a vampire in the first place. Then of course, another desire for blood, this time with angel cake. He was always describes as an angel, not quite human any way anyone looked.

"Adolescence didn't make sense, a little loss of innocence, the ugly years of being a fool, ain't youth meant to be beautiful?"

This just sums up Amadeo. It does.

Valley of the Dolls

This is where I move heavy into HC material, especially the hc that Armand suffers from some form of dissociative disorder, making Armand, Amadeo and Arun/Andrei distinct alters. The lyrics "living with identities that do not belong to me," and "pick a personality for free, when you feel like nobody" fit this extraordinarily well.

Hypocrates

I see this song as a very good explanation of my interpretation of Armand and Marius's relationship. Very good.

"You're the lonely, one and only, body in the world / Who can make me, who can break me down into a young girl"

Marius is, in many ways, the only one who holds any power over Armand on a personal level, for so many reasons, but this just brings up the part where Armand describes himself as being afraid of Marius. He still makes him feel like a mortal boy in his service again.

"I know you only want to own me, and that's the kind of love you show me / You tell me one thing and do another, keep all your secrets undercover"

This just sums it up to me. He does just want to own him, that is the only love being shown.

Fear and Loathing

"I lived a lot of different lives / Been different people many times"

Armand is consistently whoever those around him want him to be, he has never truly been his own person. Every new person, every lover he asks the same thing he asks Louis "who am I?", he creates a new life in his death.

"I lived my life in bitterness / And filled my heart with emptiness"

Armand learned, especially from the Children of Darkness, to not find pleasure or goodness in anything, especially not himself. He does not value himself or others, he is nihilistic quite constantly.

"Not everyone is out to screw you over / Maybe, yeah, just maybe, they just want to get to know you"

One thing I believe is intrinsic to Armand and his relationships with others is his fundamental lack of trust in them. He does not trust that they won't hurt him, they won't leave him, s he hurts them or himself before they can, makes them leave before they can choose to, before they can grow bored or fed up with him. He doesn't trust that anyone has good intentions, that ever actually love him.

"Got different people inside my head / I wonder which one that they like best"

Again, see Valley of the Dolls. I do see Arun, Amadeo and Armand as separate identities fighting to be the "real" one in a bid to keep safe if he can make others like them the most.

"And when the time comes along and the lights run out / I know a light will burn on when they blow me out"

There is one thing that Armand does very well, and it is endure. This is about him enduring. He will always burn on.

"Don't wanna be completely faithless, completely faithless"

Faith and religion are so SO important to Armand as a character, his belief in a higher power either blessing him or cursing him, but he cannot function without. He wants so much to hold some faith in what has happened to him, what continues to happen, that it is supposed to be in some way. It's a guide for him, if nothing else.

(Okay here I am going to skip How To Be A Heartbreaker as I do think it is the one song that does not fit, though at the same time Ithink amadeo would have loved it so shout out)

Radioactive

"My heart is nuclear / Love is all that I fear"

Would Armand know love if he saw it, if he experienced it? Or would he think it another trick, a play to gain something as it has always been to him. He fears love as much as he craves it as I doubt he even understands it. But his heart, his love is a powerful thing, a dangerous thing.

Sex Yeah

"Nothing is provocative anymore, even for kids"

'No one though children innocent of sensuous pleasures' :/

"All my life I've tried to hide what history has given me"

The ideas of history are really really interesting in this sound wrt Armand because of how much of his history is informed by sexuality. It's at every turn, every fight, every moment of his past and it is his legacy in many ways, take the painting. But what if he could fight that, could hide it, be something more, reclaim his personhood without forfeiting his sexuality. Maybe he has the time to, and has seen the culture change in so many ways.

Buy The Stars

I have very similar feelings to Hypocrates with this song, and I think it's similar in meaning when thinking of Armand too. Essentially I see this song as a representation of love as possession, a sort of love Armand had with Marius, and how owning and giving is not loving or knowing someone.

E.V.O.L

Devil's Minion song. So DM. "It only takes two lonely people to fuck love up and make it evil / It only takes a drop of evil to fuck up two beautiful people"

[ghostfacesvalentine]

Dealing with it - Ghostface x Fem!Reader HC

Pairing: Stu Macher x Fem!Reader / Billy Loomis x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of a toxic relationship, manipulation, mentions of love-bombing, killing, cheating etc.

Type: Blerps

Request: Can I request Stu Macher and Billy Loomis (separate!) headcanons for them falling in love with a girl that’s in a toxic relationship with someone else? Would they play the “should to cry on” role while waiting for the perfect moment to swoop in and steal her? Or would they say fuck it and put on that ghostface costume to permanently get rid of the dude?👀

Word Count: N/A

Prompt: Billy and Stu fall in love with reader that’s in a toxic relationship! May not be accurate to the t but I love to have my own take on characters!

Notes: I was a little bit iffy about this topic, toxic relationships are the worst, please speak to someone if you’re in one.

Stu Macher:

-Honestly he’d pick up on it much faster than expected. Stu would absolutely keep his cool though. Even if he walked in on you both arguing, he’d probably yell that there was a party at his place or something to change the subject.

-He’d let you rant about your s/o when you and him are alone. Most of the time it’s when you’re both skipping class or in a bullshit class together. You’d be spilling your guts before you could realize and though Stu’s fiddling with his pencil seemingly zoning in and out, he ate up every word you expressed.

-This little devil would do the most to keep you two apart and don’t be surprised if he became one of the biggest reasons you and your s/o would argue. Stu would have a way to weasel into your day and sometimes you’d find yourself overpromising to him... Then having to cancel dates and plans with you s/o or having to reschedule because you and Stu were in a group project that counted for 20% of your grade.

-Like I said, he’s much smarter than he leads on, so when his methods begin to really make your relationship crumble, he’d lovebomb you. Sneaking over to your house “just to make sure you’re okay.” Gift you little things you mentioned, like posters or CD’s you wanted at the store earlier after going with him. Of course he couldn’t overwhelm you yet, then maybe you’d catch on.

-Stu would absolutely not be shy about touching you, grabbing you abruptly and squeezing you into a big hug when he sees you and no one’s around. He knows you might not be getting much affection from your s/o, not any that you wanted anyway. This is something else he might use towards his advantage. Along with compliments you may not hear from your s/o often. “Wow y/n, you curled your hair today? It looks beautiful.” 

-You’d find yourself craving more and more from Stu and the little breadcrumbs he left you. Then when he has you right where he wants you, he’d pull you into a kiss. He’d pull away first and apologize profusely. 

- After waging your response, he’d admit how he feels about you, honestly probably pulling something out of his ass to keep you on cloud 9 about him. In all honesty it probably doesn’t take much at this point.

-If you talk about how you still love your s/o and that you’re just going through a rough patch, yeah no doubt he’s putting that ghostface mask and dealing with it himself. If you weren’t going to get rid of them, he absolutely will make the decision for you.

Billy Loomis:

-Ok, IN MY OPINION, Billy would be more straightforward. He’d listen to your rants, taking interest when he’d overhear you and your s/o arguing over the phone.

-I honestly think he has something intriguing about his eyes, especially when he doesn’t look away and kind of doesn’t break his gaze away from you, it kind of becomes hypnotizing? Then before you know it you’re spilling all the beans. Then he just becomes sort of like your girlfriend about it? He’s telling you that your s/o is doing this all wrong, but he still has that kind of sympathetic doe eyed look that makes you melt.

-Billy would absolutely sneak over to see if you’re okay after you tell him you had a big fight. Even if you didn’t want him to go over, next thing you know he’s tapping on your window. You almost have a heart attack because no one has ever done this, then when you realize it’s Billy, you tell him to go away and that you want to be alone. 

-This only makes him tap on the window louder, so eventually you give in. You have to admit his persistence is charming, your s/o would never, would they?

-To Billy this is the perfect moment to kind of lay it onto you, telling you that you’re so great and that you really don’t need to be with someone like the person that you’re with. “I’ve definitely made my mistakes y/n but I know that mistreating you wouldn’t be one.”

-I would picture Billy, after giving you his whole spiel, he’d kind of try to caress your face to pull you into a kiss, but would kind of pull his hand back for “dramatic effect”. It would all depend on how you’d react about it. If you pull away, he’d apologize and just kind of pull a “I’m sorry, this is way out of line, I’ll get out of your way.” aND LEAVE, then ignore you for like a week ?? or avoid you until it’s literally eating at him. Then it only takes him seeing you make up with your s/o to have HIM throw on the ghostface mask and just really unleash on the poor guy. 

-It would be on the news for months.

-However, if you don’t pull away and if anything you look a little sad that he doesn’t go for it, he just kind of stands there then tries again. He does that thing with his eyes where he looks so deeply into you, you feel like you can’t move and you just let him kiss you.

-Next thing you know, you guys are just making out, and jeez. It’s just getting out of control, but eventually, he’s just kind of standing in front of you, hand under your jaw, while the other one is behind the small part of your back, eyelids heavy and pupils dilated to hell. Breathing into each other in opposite rhythms as you bring up your s/o. 

-”Don’t worry baby, I got a solution for that.” Then he just kinda, you know, grabs your face again pulling you to his and taking all the breath from you again.

Bonus points if both were trying to keep you to themselves, they’d still sneak into your room and quietly fight each other about who gets to get rid of your s/o because your parents/or siblings are in the other room.

[throneofsapphics]

PLEASE DO A PART 3 FOR SOME QUESTIONS ARE BETTER LEFT AVOIDED 😭 my heart can't take the angst 😂

some questions are better left alone, part 3

Rowaelin x f!Reader

(part one) (part two)

Summary: “I was going to ask ‘is it really my home.’” The words felt like poison on my tongue.

The silence was audible

Word Count: ~4k

Warnings: dark/manipulative aelin & rowan, angst, sort of toxic relationships

A/N: this one took a dark turn. I’m sorry this took so long! It’s been sitting in my drafts for ages because I’m not sure how I feel about it! but I've kinda started a part four

“You need to explain.” Her cousin frowned. She’s the only one I trusted to send the summons. So, I told her about the conversation with Aelin. 

“Gods, you’re so dense sometimes.” She cursed. 

“Excuse me?” My voice grew shrill. 

“Did you bother asking her what she meant by it?” 

I frowned. I hadn’t, I knew exactly what that meant. She made it obvious. Aelin and Rowan were having doubts. This was the easiest way to remove myself from the situation, if a bit sneaky. But, my cousin didn’t put anything specific in the summons, only that she needed me there - urgently, as soon as possible. She’s sent letters before, but never anything like this. The rest of my family thinks it’s a surprise visit and that my cousin didn’t deign to inform them she needed me here. At least my story would hold, if Rowan and Aelin asked a few extra questions.

“She answered too quickly.” 

“What if she meant something else?” She snapped at me. 

“What the hell else could it mean? ‘Are you having doubts.’ ‘No.’ It’s clear enough to me,” I hissed at her. 

She stood with narrowed eyes, arms crossing her chest, and her ‘no-bullshit’ look on her face. “I think you’re a coward.” She tilted her head. My jaw dropped. “In the gentlest way possible.” She frowned at the hurt look on my face. “Maybe some extended time at home would be good for you.” 

Silver started to line my eyes, and I urged the tears not to spill. Not now, not when I was trying to hold my ground. But, she crossed the room and tugged me into a hug, and the floodgates opened. 

-

It had been a month. They received a few letters from y/n, all vague in nature. Of course, they understand why - it’s her cousin's business, not theirs. Still, it unnerved them. She’d never been gone this long before, and the summons was vague enough as is. They didn’t have any clue why she was gone, what was happening, and when she would return. Slowly, it was driving Aelin mad. 

Then - Fenrys seemed to avoid any conversation regarding y/n. At first, she summed it up to him missing his friend, but as it continued over the weeks, something tingling inside her told her it was more. Aelin trusts her instincts, they’ve served her well in the past. 

“What do you know about y/n, that you’re not telling us?” She got Rowan to ask the question - maybe she would’ve been a bit smoother with the delivery, but she didn’t want him to think she was using the blood oath. 

“Are you asking about her drinking habits?” He drawled, leaning his chair back on two legs. 

“About why she’s gone.” Rowan said through gritted teeth. The weeks had worn him down too. 

“A summon from her cousin, wasn’t it?” 

Rowan growled but Fenrys looked on with wary amusement. 

“Is there a reason she would want to leave, for an extended period of time?” Aelin cut in. She was sick of it. 

“I imagine a family emergency would do that.” He cocked his head, and said it with an edged chuckle. She could read him well, he was hiding something. 

“Besides that.” She hissed. 

Fenrys’s lips pressed in a tight line. “She was having doubts. At one point, after your conversation.” 

“Anything else, did she say anything else?” Rowan cut in this time, his eyes gleaming. 

“No, she wouldn’t tell me anything else.” 

Because if it … if it could cause some sort of pain to her, he’d feel obligated to tell her. She exchanged a glance with Rowan, knowing he’d come to the same conclusion. Aelin changed the subject quickly, and Fenrys looked relieved. 

-

With each passing day, I couldn’t decide if my instincts made me crazy, an idiot, or right. My cousin refused to comment any further, telling me it’s something I needed to figure out. I focused on spending time with my younger cousins, the family I rarely got to see. A part of me aches to go back, tugged at me to return to them, but another said to stay - to be with my family and court. I’d been there long enough that my mother started hinting at reinstating my position. A conversation I carefully deflected. 

“Why haven’t you returned yet, you’ve never been separated from them this long?” Her father asked over dinner, taking a sip of his wine. 

“Not that we don’t want you here, dear,” her mother interrupted, shooting him a nasty look, “but we heard it’s painful to be away from mates.” Her parents were deeply in love - not a mating bond, but it might as well have been. 

I sagged in my chair, letting my fork drop onto the plate. My mother frowned at the noise, but didn’t lecture me on it. 

“I’m … I needed some fresh air.” I tried to explain. 

They each exchanged a look, and by the haze in their eyes I knew they were mind-speaking. It runs in the family. 

Hello. I budged into both of them with a grin. My mother glared, 

It’s rude to interrupt private conversations. I grinned at her, and pulled out. 

“Are you in trouble?” I watched my fathers fist tighten around the steak knife, his knuckles whitening. 

“No,” I shook my head. Not the sort they’re thinking of. The only real danger, at this point, seems to be coming from my own mind. My swirling thoughts, the overthinking, the unending cycle. 

“Do you wish to move back?” My mothers voice was gentle, soft. A complete opposite to her normal curt tones and cold corrections. 

“I don’t know.” I finally gave them an honest answer - one that held the most truth. I don’t know what to do, what I want, or where to be. I pinched the bridge of my nose, hoping to head off the upcoming headache. 

“Considering the Queen and King of Terrasen have requested to visit, you have about one week to figure that out.” My eyes widened. There she was. I saw the wicked glint in her eyes. She’d known this whole time. “They didn’t tell you?” 

“Gods-damned it.” I cursed, avoiding her question. 

“Language,” my Father corrected half-heartedly, a pitying look in his eyes. They’d already granted the request, without telling me or asking for my input. Not even informing me they received one. 

“Of course we’ll have some official meetings and negotiations to attend to.” My mother waved one hand, elegantly. “But it’ll be good for you to reunite with them, after all this time apart.” 

-

I ranted to my cousin later. “I know she means well, but it still feels like a stab in the back.” 

“Your mother has always been … tricky.” She said carefully, not wishing to speak ill of her. 

“You mean a sneaky cold-hearted bitch.” 

Her pause indicated her agreement. “Who means well,” she emphasized. She’s the one who heavily encouraged my acceptance of the bond in the first place. 

“I know she does,” I sighed, flopping onto the couch, cradling my head between my hands. My mother always means well, and gave us the best childhood she could. Teaching us new things, taking us to see new places, and training us from the day we were strong enough to hold a blade. 

Still, there was always a coldness to her - some kind of lingering pain or trauma. I asked her about it a few times, and the conversation was always shut down - abruptly, but elegantly. 

“Why didn’t they tell you about it?” She sat down next to me, with a lot more poise.

“That’s the real mystery.” 

-

The week went far too quickly, and the entire court was buzzing. Aelin and Rowan were living legends, even here people love to tell their stories. This entire court loves them, always so happy about the relations between them, and always willing to tell me just how grateful they are - like I have something to do with it. I do, in a way, but those relations existed before my relationship to them.

They threw up all of the fanfare, even for a short visit. Only three days. Everyone expected a charming public reunion. I could put on that show - part of me did tug towards them, and always will. Still, a sense of doom settled over me. They hadn’t written to tell me they were visiting, and it felt off. 

-

Everything went well. I was excited to see them, my reaction genuine. I stayed out of the meetings - the official business going on. I couldn’t be an unbiased party, and in all honestly they bored me to tears. I was a bit disappointed Fenrys wasn’t there. His absence did feel … pointed. 

That night, after dinner, the world crashed around me. 

As soon as I showed them towards the suite set aside for them, Rowan locked the door behind him, leaning up against it. Danger, my mind seemed to sing to me. Danger, danger, danger. 

“We know what you did.” Rowan’s voice was blunt, cold even. 

“Excuse me?” I raised an eyebrow, forcing my heart rate to remain steady. 

“You ran.” My eyes darted to Aelin. “And you’re coming back with us this time.” 

My eyes widened, slightly in shock. I could tell she meant it. “And if I wished to stay longer?” I tilted my head, watching how Rowan’s eyes flashed with anger. 

“It’s been long enough.” He grunted, dismissing it. “You need to come home.” 

I opened my mouth, before shutting it. The words that almost came out of my mouth, Is it really my home? Those would … I don’t want to think of what they would do. 

“Say it.” Aelin hissed, taking a step towards me. I held my ground. “Whatever you were about to say, spit it out.” Rowan took another step with her. I bit my bottom lip harshly, rolling it back and forth between my teeth. Flames danced at Aelin’s fingertips - angry flames. Not the soft, gentle ones I’m used to. I stumbled back, nearly tripping over the table. A small breeze of wind and they were extinguished. A threat. 

“Go on.” Rowan warned. “Don’t make her say it twice.”  

“I was going to ask ‘is it really my home.’” The words felt like poison on my tongue.

The silence was audible. “Yes,” Aelin said thickly. “It is.” 

I felt her hurt - and Rowan’s resounding anger. Anger at me - for the hurt in Aelin’s voice, the hurt she’s feeling because of my words. Gods, what have I done? 

“Tomorrow morning,” he growled, “you’ll tell your family you’re coming back with us.” His eyes narrowed, and you’ll give no indication anything is wrong. 

I rolled my shoulders back, tilting my chin. “Who are you to give me orders?” 

Aelin looked down at her nails, holding them in front of her. “Relations between Terrasen and your court are well now. Would you want to jeopardize that?” She purred. “The trading routes are essential, aren’t they Rowan?” She turned to him. He gave a curt nod, but his eyes never left me. 

Holy Gods. She’s willing to strain relations to get me to go back. To stay. I let out a slow exhale. My court, that’s something I’ll never be willing to jeopardize or threaten, and she knows that. “Very well.” My throat bobbed with each word. I underestimated them. How far they’d go to keep me. My instincts weren’t wrong - the doom I felt, not this time. They know where my deepest loyalties lie, and they’re willing to use them against me. 

“Is that all?” I said through gritted teeth. 

Aelin held up a finger, “don’t mention a word to that cousin of yours, who summoned you. I heard you dispatched a letter to her a week before that arrived. Interesting timing.” 

“Stranger things have happened,” I countered, not missing a beat or giving an inch. Aelin’s look told me she didn’t believe a word I’d insinuated, she stalked towards me instead. I forced myself to stay in place, not to run. A finger pressed under my chin. 

“Pretty little liar.” She smirked. 

-

The look of outrage on her face was satisfying, Aelin had to admit. Almost as satisfying as putting the pieces together - of the interesting timing she’d orchestrated. She’d bet gold on what was in the letter she posted. 

“I’m not a liar.” She hissed back at her. 

“Maybe not,” Rowan’s voice came from behind her, “but you like to hide things.” 

She looked away, an admission of guilt if I’ve ever seen one. “If I were to hide things, have you considered why I might do that?” 

She turned back, a coldness settled in those beautiful eyes. Something she’d never seen from her before. Her eyes paused on her first, then to Rowan, before she swept from the room - not giving them a chance to counter. 

Aelin should be proud, she did get the last word in. 

“I forgot you both have a flair for the dramatics.” Rowan huffed, before stalking towards the door. He did say he wouldn’t let her out of his sight. Likely, everyone would summon it up to their extended separation. Aelin knows better, he wants to keep an eye on her - they both do. He doesn’t trust her not to run. She doesn’t either. 

-

They didn’t let me out of their sight as much as they could help it. They couldn’t follow me around while they were in official meetings, but found me as soon as they ended. The threat Aelin levied kept my mouth shut. I introduced them to my family - especially my small cousins who idolized them. The ones who always asked for stories about them. A smile crossed my face watching Aelin interact with them - how gentle she was. 

I stared at Rowan, waiting to see if he would reach out or try to speak to me. What? He asked finally, to my mind, not bothering to sound pleasant. 

Just a reminder of who you’re threatening. He stiffened, and I saw his fist clench together before loosening. I turned my attention back towards my cousins.

-

“I should’ve heeded your warning.” I told Fenrys, when we finally had a bit of time alone. Their majesties were otherwise occupied. 

“Which one?” He threw a grape, catching it in his mouth. Show off. 

“About asking certain questions.” 

His look said, “I do give good advice from time to time. Even if it falls on empty ears.” 

I snarled half-heartedly and debated telling him about the threat they’d given. But … I’d already stirred up enough and already was suffering the consequences. Maybe this was better left unsaid. “When’s your next night off?” I asked instead. 

“About that.” Fenrys chuckled. “I’ve been informed I’m not allowed to take you out drinking.” 

“Great.” I grumbled. Reaching for a grape. 

“Until you, apparently, ‘earn those privileges.’”

My hand paused midair, my eyes snapped to his. “Excuse me?” 

“Exactly what he said.” Aelin’s voice came from the doorway. I forget how easily they can sneak up on me. “We don’t trust you.” 

Fenrys shot a pitying look at me, and made a swift exit. Smart, considering the argument brewing. Aelin strode to my side, budging me slightly to make room for her to sit next to me. I moved stiffly. “I took your warning to heart.” My voice came out quieter than I wished. 

-

At least Fenrys saved her the trouble of bringing that up. She wrapped an arm around y/n’s waist, tugging her into her side. She could sense the battle between her mind and body - her mind wanting to pull away, but her body urging her to melt into her side. The body won. 

“I won’t take any chances with you.” 

“I didn’t realize this was a cage.” 

Aelin flinched, her grip tightening. “It’s not.” 

“Banning me from leaving. Sounds like a cage to me.” 

“I don’t care what you think of it.” Aelin wished she didn’t mean the words, desperately wished she didn’t, but the primal Fae instinct in her, the one to keep her mate close - those overrode everything else. 

As soon as she and Rowan realized how close they came to y/n slipping through their fingers, that urge set in. It’s something she couldn’t kick, couldn’t shove away.  

“Who knew what asking the wrong questions could do.” Y/n muttered. 

“You could’ve avoided all of this.” Aelin hedged. Possibly, but something told her it was inevitable - inevitable this would happen. 

She pushed away from her, wiggling out of her grip, turning to look her in the eyes. A sadness was there, sadness and sorrow. “I never thought you’d stoop that low.” 

Aelin’s temper flared. She felt the flames dance at her fingertips. Y/n cast a small shield to separate them. The female so rarely used her magic like that, she forgot she’s capable of it. 

Rowan walked in, assessed the scene, and snorted. His magic both extinguished her flames and ripped down her shield. They turned to glare at him.

“Did you ever wonder where your magic comes from?” He asked y/n instead. 

“My family.” She said, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Did you know your mother is part Crochan?” 

Aelin sensed the shock running through y/n. She hadn’t known. Rowan. She glared at him, and he ignored her. 

A flurry of emotions ran through the bond, y/n’s normal defenses completely down - wide open. 

-

“Mostly witch I’d say. But obviously part Fae, given the features.” He continued. Rowan figured it out during the visit, after spending more time with her mother. He’d been waiting to drop this particular knowledge. Give something to unsettle her, the way she had with them. But, he thought she would have known. He thought it was something she hadn’t told them, had hid from them, and didn’t realize it could be something hidden from her. A tang of guilt ripped through him, but not enough to make him regret revealing it. 

“There’s nothing wrong with being a witch.” She murmured quietly. 

“I know,” Aelin said soothingly, wrapping an arm around her and tugging her into her side. You’re an asshole. She spoke directly to him. Why didn’t you tell me? 

It didn’t occur to me. Aelin’s returning glare called bullshit. 

“Crochan’s can use small glamors, you never wondered where that came from?”

“The version of my mother you see is different from the one who raised me.” Her words were bitter. Pure ice. He fought down those instincts that told him she might have caused her harm, the ones who told him to go eliminate the threat. He could see Aelin tamping them down as well. “She’s not a bad person,” y/n said quickly, sensing the shifts in their mood, “only … her intentions are good, she did her best raising us, but she can be a sneaky cold-hearted bitch when she wants to.” 

-

Witch. Part witch. She wasn’t upset by the knowledge, it thrilled her actually. The upset came from how her mother never told her. She wonders if her father knew at all. Maybe not. 

“Then we know where you get it from.” Rowan crooned. 

I closed my eyes, forcing slow breaths in and out of me, cooling the rage seeming beneath my skin. They had a point, but … “Try and insult my mother again, mate or not I will cut off your favorite part.” I hissed. A genuine threat. 

I heard Aelin stifling a laugh, but Rowan’s eyes widened slightly, before blinking. “Noted.” 

“Crochans were in hiding for several years,” my lips pressed into a tight line. “It’s possible that’s … how she met my father.” My mother wasn’t born into our court - but she might as well rule it at this point. 

Rowan’s eyes softened slightly, and he gave a quick nod. Relations between Crochans and Ironteeth only cooled very recently. Maybe that’s part of the reason my mother put a blade in my hand at a young age, and taught me how to use it.

-

After Rowans … revelation, y/n seemed to daze off. Her eyes were fixed on the floor, and Aelin knew she was deep in thought. She didn’t interrupt her, instead choosing to keep her tugged into her side, glaring at Rowan - who looked unapologetic. He did take a seat on her other side, not touching but close enough he could reach out and hold her if he wanted to. 

“She did insist on training us, from a young age.” 

“Training?” Rowan’s interest peaked. Gods. Y/n has no idea what she might have started. “I haven’t seen you train before.” 

“I do have hobbies outside of being your mate.” 

Rowan bristled. “You love hiding things, don’t you.” 

“I’d say I’m full of surprises,” she countered dryly, shooting him an infuriating smile. Aelin had taught her that one, sure enough it worked. 

“Then train with me tomorrow morning.” 

Aelin groaned. This would not end well. 

You need to be kinder, she reminded him. 

I will. He shot her an exasperated look. 

-

Based on Aelin’s horror stories, I thought I’d be in for a few hours of torture with Rowan the next morning, but to my surprise he was patient. Making small corrections here and there, and focusing mostly on technique. 

Rowan sent a small gust of wind - not enough to damage me, but enough to make me lose my balance, costing a few precious seconds before his blade was a few inches from my throat. 

“You’d be dead.” I tilted my head after he moved the dagger away. He didn’t say it with coldness, or judgment - maybe a bit of worry. 

“I’ll teach you how to use your magic.” 

“I’m capable of using my magic.” I snapped back. 

He let out a slow breath. “In a fight.” 

That makes more sense. “Fine,” I said, a bit begrudgingly, and he grinned - a terrifying grin that made my heart beat a bit faster. 

“Rowan.” I heard Aelin’s voice from behind us, and it had a warning tone to it. “Be nice or I’ll take over.” 

He grunted, before gesturing towards a table propped against the wall. Weapons, he seemed to say. I narrowed my eyes.

“Why?” 

“So you won’t default to them.” 

He does have a point. Having never extensively used my magic offensively or defensively, there was a large learning curve over the next few weeks. Rowan seemed to have eternal patience when it came to me. I slowly felt the bridges start to connect again, some of the trust rebuild. 

-

“He was never this nice to me,” Aelin complained one night, my head resting on her lap as she carefully ran her fingers through my hair, detangling any strands gently. 

“I believe the circumstances were a bit different.” I mumbled, her motions slowly lulling me to sleep. But, I didn’t think Rowan was feeling particularly kind or generous with the hell he put me through. 

“You’re right about that.” She ran her thumb over my cheekbone, tracing down my jawline. “How are you feeling?” 

I twisted to look at her, that question could have a myriad of answers. “About what?” My fingers drifted over her shoulder, down her arm, before capturing her hand, squeezing it lightly. 

“Everything. Anything.” I couldn’t get a read on her emotions, her face was carefully neutral. 

“Right now, I’m tired, sore, and want a snack.” Aelin laughed, before turning me so she could run her fingers through my hair again. “I’m also …” My words trailed off, and I regretted opening my mouth. Having to actually explain how I’m feeling or put it in words, especially with the results some of my questions or words have had in the past, fills me with a sense of anxiety. I don’t know how they’ll react anymore, or how they’ll take certain scenarios. Everything feels like new territory again, despite having been together for some time. 

“Also what?” Aelin prompted. I felt her tense underneath me, but her fingers didn’t stop their motions. 

“A bit like a bird stuck in a too-small space.” I avoided saying the word ‘cage,’ but the implication was still there. 

Aelin loosed a long breath. “Thank you for telling me.” 

I blinked in surprise. Thank you, coming from Aelin. The surprise manners almost overrode the fact that she didn’t offer anything to fix it. Almost. 

[cheynovak]

The assistant - part 2  

 

Reader x Soldier Boy 

Warnings:  Where to start... Smut 18+, Fluff, Alcohol, Cursing, unprotected sex, you name it ... (Make sure you're always protected!)  

Side note: English isn’t my first language.  

This is the second part of the story “The assistant” Soldier boy had just told Y/N that he didn’t want her to be his secret girl. But how are they going to deal with Crimson Countess (CC as Y/N calls her) and did he really mean everything he said? Y/N starts to doubt her relationship and Ben now that time had passed an nothing seems to change. Does he really love her?  

 

*note: the timeline may not always follow the boys timeline.* 

Make sure you read the first part 1

 

----------------------- 

”Sweetheart, I’m not planning on keeping you a secret.” “B-But CC, Vought?” Y/N looked hopeful at him. “Crimson can be replaced, maybe she can finally work on her one-woman act.”  

“I would lose my job.” - “You said it yourself, I’m practically Vought, If I say you stay you stay. I’ll create a new job for you or make you head of public relations at Vought.” Ben meant what he said. “Or I could hang up the suit, start a family, if that is what you want...” Y/N’s eyes grew big. “I, eh, I do need some time to think... About all of the above.” Ben kissed her, let me know when you ready. Since the party was over, Y/N decided to stay at the Vought tower for a couple of days, taking a spare room.  

Ben walked in. ”Alright, let’s talk about it...”  

 

11 months later 

Y/N and Ben agreed to keep their relationship or whatever they could call it, a secret, just to get to know each other better. To make them stronger for the storm within Vought and until Ben was sure how to get rid of CC without hurting Y/N or worse getting her killed. But even though he was the most influential hero at Vought they didn’t like his idea of removing CC from the team.  

 

“What’s going on?” Y/N asked when Ben stormed through the door of her office. “Those fuckers! They think I need her! They think that without her my popularity will shrink. And that...” He wiggled his index finger. ”That big old Vough can’t have right now.” Y/N turned her chair to face him. “Come here.” she held out her arms to hug him. Ben stepped in between her legs kneeling down placing his head against her chest. “I’m so done with this bullshit.” He said muffed.  

Y/N hated it too but figured out that at least one of the two need to keep their head cool. But what she hated to most that Ben still needed to share a bed with CC, they still attended parties as an item, kissed her for pictures, basically she saw the old Ben, the guy she used to hate. And CC, well she was still keen on finding the woman who changed “her soldier boy”, not that she missed the sex, no she had found another man or should I say men to satisfy her. But Ben wasn’t as easy to be manipulated anymore and that she couldn’t have. “She must have a golden cunt.” CC had said to Y/N in a burst of frustration. “You think he turned monogamous? Y/N had asked her. “I don’t know, but knowing Ben? No. He can’t.” And that answered made Y/N more insecure than she had anticipated.  

Even though Ben did everything he could to show Y/N he truly loved her, to whatever extent possible without being oblivious inside the walls of Vought off course. He made sure she got promoted to supervisor in PR and HR, Vought thought it was a great idea to promote some unknown girl, making her a supervisor so that whenever staff or supes wanted to complain or needed a talk she would be the one listening, she would also be the one recruiting the back-office workers. But Vought wouldn’t be Vought if they didn’t promote their work/life balance and workers support team to the world, being the first company to “care” for their staff.  

  

That job switch came with a higher paycheck. And thanks to that Y/N got to rent her own apartment downtown. So, she didn’t have to see her dad’s disappointment when Ben dropped by. Thank God your mom understood you. “Richard, they aren’t the first relationship that started out this way.” She had said to him during last family dinner, that had been weeks ago. But your father didn’t trust Ben. “If he loved her, he would by now made it public.”  

 

CC didn’t want to let her best assistant go but she understood that after 5 years at Vought she could use the money. “Besides we can still have lunch and talk right? I’ll just be on another floor, in a bigger room with a nicer desk.” Y/N had told her to ease here frustration.  

And as promised, CC and Y/N had their lunch today, talked like they used to when they were teens. They even laughed today. Y/N noticed that her relationship with CC got better now that she wasn’t working as close with her anymore, the jealousy was at a minimum, but CC wouldn’t be her is every now and then a comment was made on the way Y/N dressed now. Y/N would always say that she had a more professional dress code, “You never know when a supe explodes and I need to make a statement on national television.” CC tried her best to be her old friend again. Although Y/N liked having her friend back she felt torn apart not being able to tell her about Ben. In the corner of her eye she saw his green suit appearing. “Ladies..” he said while smiling his well practised grin. “Y/N do you have a moment this afternoon, I need more information on the last rapport you send.” He asked laying his hand on your shoulder. Y/N could feel his warmth coming through her shirt. “Of course, I’m free at 2 o’clock?” She locked eyes with him. “Perfect.” He almost purred, nodding both of you goodbye.  

CC looked at her, “You and Ben really get along these days, don’t you?” Y/N got flustered “What? No, you wanted me to find out more, right? Well, I try to talk to him, but he doesn’t give in easily. He has.... a hard shell to crack.” She said trying to sound normal. “He told Gunpowder, who told Tessa who told me that you put him in his place months ago.” CC grinned “Is that true?” “I told him that there were a couple of people who had complained about his behaviour. When I talked to him about it, he tried to wave it away.” Y/N looked at him walking away. “I take my job serious, so I stood my grounds, and I guess he now appreciates me for it.” Y/N smiled soft.  

 “Which is weird, because normally he would fire you over that.” CC answered. “Or, maybe he is growing soft, or he knows that I know people in high places.” Y/N referred to CC who got the joke and laughed at that statement. “Any way, I need to go prepare, I have no clue what he meant by rapport...Maybe he just needs a talk and will he finally let me inside that fucked up mind of his.” She said joking while getting up.  

Once Y/N got in her office and closed the door she felt Ben’s hands on her flank pulling her body against his. One hand moved her hair from one shoulder to the other, kissing her neck. “Missed me already?” She flirted. Ben hummed, taking a deep breath really taking in her scent. “Sweetheart, the second I don’t want you anymore, kill me.” He moved his hand to her breast, rubbing and kneading over her blouse. Y/N’s head fell back against his strong shoulder releasing a deep breath. “You know that is impossible, right?” She joked back.  Ben started to open her blouse, granting him more access. Y/N turned around to kiss him hungerly, tracing his tongue with hers. “I don’t have much time.” She managed to say between kisses. “I’ll make it quick.” he said unzipping her skirt on the back, letting it fall at the ground leading her to step out of it. “And I don’t have time to shower before dinner tonight.” She pushed Ben on the small sofa in her office.  

Ben looked confused. “Dinner?” he asked while lifting his hips as she took off his pants and underwear.  

“My parents invited me for dinner, it’s been a while since I saw them.” She said while removing her blouse completely. He hummed, sounding a little down, she thought it was because he still wasn’t accepted by your dad. Or because he couldn’t visit you tonight. Y/N wanted to take of her heels. “Keep those on.” He said quickly looking Y/N up and down.  “Damn woman, you in lingerie and heels. Could come just looking at you.” He bit his lip. Y/N giggled soft while dropping her lace panties and bra on the floor. Making Ben touch his dick. She placed a knee on each side of his thighs. “What no foreplay?” He said teasingly before taking her left nipple in his mouth while his left hand worked on her other breast. Y/N moaned. “Ben.... Like I said, no time to.... oh... waste.” She could feel him twitch against her thigh.  

Y/N wrapped her perfect manicured hand around his shaft pumping, kneading a few times before lining him up and pushing him inside. She moaned feeling him stretch her, letting her head fall onto his shoulder. “Oh, sweetheart you feel a tight as ever. No matter how many times I get to fuck this little pussy of yours.” He said guiding her with his hands on her ass, kneading the flesh softly. Ben couldn’t help himself, he started to thrust up at the same pace as she was riding him. The air was filled with moans and sighs. Y/N dipped her hands between them to rub her clit. “Fuck that’s hot sweetheart.” He looked at her, pleasuring herself to the edge of an orgasm. He could feel her tighten around him.  

After her high Y/N stood up leaving Ben with a confused look. “Don’t worry baby, I’m not leaving you like this.” She said getting on her knees trailing her hands over his thighs. Kissing and licking around his pelvis making him hum while he stroked her hair with his fingers.  

Without warning or hesitation, she placed her tongue over the tip of his cock liking the precum of it. Ben dropped his head back. “You really are getting great at teasing.” He huffed. Y/N grinned at his reaction, deciding to test his patients a little more, so she licked a stripe from his balls to the tip. His hand clamped at her hair. “Sweetheart” he moaned. But when she heard a knock on the door her stopped, climbed half back up with one knee on the couch, covering her hand over his mouth. She heard the TNT twins arguing outside the door. “I told you she is never here this time.” - “Who said that? Maybe she is busy.” “I do.. You never listen to me! Let’s go.” - “I’m so done with you telling what to do. I’ll wait for her.”  

Y/N looked frustrated but Ben? He started to grin under her hand. Moving his hand over her thigh up to her wet cunt adding 2 fingers. She fell forward at the sudden but oh so good feeling. Ben moved hard and fast while they still heard the twins outside. When Ben started to rub his thumb at her clit, not slowing down, she had to hold back a moan by biting his shoulder. She felt her orgasm building, but when he without warning let go of her, she looked almost sad and angry at the same time. Ben grinned nodded to his pulsing dick. “I’ll be quiet he whispered in her ear.” Y/N dropped back on her knees. Still hearing TNT fighting like two children, about to leave or wait for her.  

She sat down on her knees next to him, on the couch and started to take his cock, this time taking him so deep in her mouth her nose brushed against his thigh. She could see how hard he was trying to be quiet it made her even wetter. Ben held her hair back so he could look at her. It was quiet outside when Ben came hard in her mouth, even though he tried to keep it quiet he couldn’t help himself but to thrust soft in her mouth holding her head still. Ben tossed her to the other end of the couch, adding the same two fingers in her and rubbing thumb at the same speed as he did before. It didn’t take long for Y/N to feel that orgasm coming back. She held her arm over her mouth when Ben pushed her over the edge.  

“Asshole.” She said laying there grinning, when he got up licking his fingers. “Hmm, you loved it.” he said. They got dressed, Y/N made sure her make-up was still intact and redid her hair. After they started dating and the new job, she took time for an entire rebranding. New wardrobe, painted her nails started to be more experimental with her make-up, started to wear heels more. Ben looked at her appreciating the fact that she finally embraced her beauty, it made her more confident, in and out of the bedroom. “You really look good today.” He blurred out. Y/N turned to him. “That is usually how it starts, not how is ends.” And kissed him while Ben was holding her ass cheek. She opened the door to let him out. They were both surprised TNT were still standing at the door. As were they surprised Ben walked out the door.  

“You guys had an appointment?” Y/N got out after a second. “Eh no, but we would like to rapport something to HR.” Tommy said very nervous. Y/N looked at him and Tessa trying to play it cool. Then she looked at Ben. “Well, I think that we were done right? Be-Soldier boy, sir?” “For now, good job on the... talk.” Ben said while leaving. “Alright get in. Take a seat” Y/N said but not without quickly opening a window. TNT looked at each other. “What can I help you with.” Y/N said with a honeysweet voice.  

That evening Y/N was helping her mom cooking. “How is Ben?” she asked sincerely interested. “He is ok, although Vought is getting on his nerves. They don’t see payback without Crimson Countess. So, replacing her is not going to be an option for now.” She said with sadness in her voice. “And how do you feel about it?” - “I don’t know mom, I’m willing to give it time. But the more we wait the harder it gets to me.” Your dad walked in. “You could find another man. You know a little less complicated.” The tv started to play an interview with Ben and CC about the new movie they are starring in.  Y/N rolled her eye but didn’t let her father see that. Y/N started to think about her father’s comment, it would be 10 times easier dating a normal man, with a normal job who doesn’t need to find a way to ditch his so-called girlfriend. Those thoughts got her in a downwards spiral of negative thoughts. Did Ben tell the truth? He is already playing a part at Vought and with CC. Maybe he never really asked to drop CC out of Vought. Maybe he is playing both ends. Which means he is probably still sleeping with other women as well. Y/N noticed her stomach turning, the thought of that made her really sick.  

She didn’t eat much that night and got home quickly. Y/N needed to hear Ben, hearing him could only bring her back to senses, although they agreed not to call at night, Ben had called her some nights when he was alone, but she never did, scared CC would answer or anyone at the front desk started to gossip. But this time Y/N hold herself and dialled the number. “Vought tower speaking” a soft sweet female voice answered - “hi, can you connect me to Soldier Boy please?” - “Who is this?” “Y/N, from HR.” - “One moment please.”  

The phone rang a little to long for Y/N’s liking. ”Hello, Y/N?” She heard CC answering. “CC hi.. I, eh need you.”  

“Me? Then why are you calling Ben?” -”Well, I actually need both of you.” she lied “Is he there too?” “No, he isn’t in our room, no clue where he is. Probably having.... fun, somewhere.” “Oh, well then I will see you tomorrow.” She quickly said and hung up the phone.  

Crimson’s lip twitched in a sneaky smile, little did Y/N know that Tessa had spoken to CC earlier today. “We knocked waited of over 30 minutes. Thinking we will see her appear in the hall. Guess who got out of her office? Ben! And I tell you countess opening that window didn’t make the smell of sex leave the room.”  

Ben got out of the bathroom. “Who was that?” CC looked at him. “Your girlfriend.”  

Ben smirked while pouring a drink “Y/N” she added. Ben stopped moving looked over at CC. “So, you finally found out. Congrets.” He clapped his hands. “Well, If you start fucking someone in their office sooner or later you’ll get caught.” He smiled at her, TNT... he thought. “Well, I’d love to take her in this bed, but you are in my way. And I don’t really want to share her with you.” Ben said cocky trying to sound unbothered.  

“Why her Ben? I don’t mean it in a “oh no why my best friend” way, more in a why the good schoolgirl type?” He got close to her leaning in while she was still sitting in the chair. “First off, she offers something pure that skanks like you can’t offer. 2nd once a nice girl opens up it’s like sex in heaven... or hell depends on how you categorise the things she does with that mouth.” He walked away seeing her getting angry at him. “I don’t care what you do. I do care that you are trying to replace me.” She stood up facing Ben. “Let’s make a deal, I get to keep Y/N you won’t hurt her. You take your cute ass out of my bedroom move in somewhere else.” She thought about it. “Ok, if I get to stay in payback and we get to stay a public couple.” - Not what Ben was hoping for but it was the best deal he had in a while, thinking this was just part one of his plan to get rid of her. “Deal.” 

The next morning Ben knocked at Y/N apartment. She opened the door but moved out of the way to her kitchen. He tried to kiss her a good morning, but she pretended to be in a rush.” Why are you here? I’ll see you in an hour at the daily meeting.” Y/N said cold. “I have good news. Thought I share it with you.” Y/N looked up waiting for the rest of the information. “Crimson is moving out. She knows, the deal is you and I can walk around Vought being us. CC will not hurt you and you can stay at my place.” He said proud.  

“At Vought? What about in public?” She asked seemingly not thrilled at the “good news”. Ben didn’t answer. “So, in public and for events you are still an item. I get to be the mistress at court. And what when I don’t sleep with you Ben at Vought? You’ll find another girl for the night?” “What? No...” He walked over to her, but Y/N backed out.” Sweetheart why would you think that?” “I don’t know Ben maybe because you’ve always, always did that? Why would I make a difference?” He didn’t know what to answer but started to get angry, visibly. “You know what Ben. You promised me a solution, CC gone or at least you two breaking up. But this? This changes nothing, oh yeah CC knows, so what we can fuck now with the door open?”  

Ben got so frustrated at Y/N he didn’t know how to react but in anger. “You know what leave it, I’m doing my fucking best, and this is my thanks?” He walked through the door leaving Y/N standing alone in her apartment, crying. That day was horrible for her. She felt the eyes of the employees linger on her, judging her. Tessa and CC made sure all of Vought knew about them, the HR trust person sleeping with the Supe the most complaints were about. People didn’t trust her anymore.  Ben walked past her office, looking at the closed door, taking a deep breath and knocked. But no one answered. He didn’t know that Y/N had a follow up appointment with an employee from the helpline, when he didn’t show up, she had tracked him down to his desk. When Y/N had asked is he wanted a new appointment he told her he didn’t want to talk to the puppet of the boss. Everyone at that open workplace heard that. And this wasn’t the first encounter. So, Y/N walked fast, almost ran to the bathroom, and started to cry. Was this the point she had to admit her dad was right? And Ben, he was too stubborn to talk to her. 

 

The next morning, Ben walked past Y/N thinking he won’t say a word, but when she walked past him not even looking at him and continued to talk in her sweet voice to Frank the photographer, he felt rage, hurt, misunderstood and even jealous. So, Ben walked behind her stopping her grabbing her arm pulling her against the wall. “WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!” He yelled. Y/N looked around seeing everyone had stopped walking or came out of their offices and started to stare at them. Y/N could feel his fingertips squeezing harder in her skin. “Ben, you’re hurting me.” She said soft. It took him a minute to realize he was holding her so tight.  

He let he go but didn’t take a step back. Y/N looked him in the eye. “You know what the problem is. Fix it or leave me alone.” She tried to walk past him. “Oh no sweetheart, I’m not done!” He pushed her back against the wall. “What do you want from me Y/N? What do you expect? A tied-up cocksucker, with a job as an, I don’t know, fucking accountant, who comes home every night to you and kissed your head when you’re making dinner while he secretly fucks his assistant at the office? Cause that’s not me sweetheart.” He got on her nerves. “Is it not? Then please enlighten my what we’ve been doing this past 2 years Ben? As far as I know YOU have been fucking the assistant and God knows how many other women!” Ben was surprised by her answer. “But oh no, she finally wants stability, how horrible of her! Do you even realize that because of you I have a terrible bond with my dad now? I fucking defended you! All you do is prove him right.”  

“I gave you stability, I gave you another job a raise so you could rent that apartment.” He responded “Yeah, thank you for giving me bits and pieces to keep me quiet. All that wouldn't be necessary if you’d man up and had admitted you were in a relationship. If that is even the right word for it.” - “Is that what it felt like? I gave you those things because I care for you.” - “Care for me, perfect words Ben. You might care or like me, but do you love me?” - “Yes of course!” - “Why didn’t you never tell me that?” Ben looked confused.  

“What?”  “You never said you loved me. Not once. All you do is fuck me when you have spare time between missions or shooting movies. The only time we actually slept together was when you accidently fell asleep in my room.” - “When did we have to sleep together, you said it yourself, you lived with your parents who hate me and Countess slept in my bed!” ”How about the year I’ve been living in my apartment? That I rent, oh yeah that’s right FOR US to be together. I really feel like a toy you take out when you’re bored. And I’m done Ben, so so done.” Y/N’s eyes stared to tear up. “Sweetheart...” He tried to wipe away the tears, but Y/N moved her head away.  

More and more people started to gather in the hall. “I really thought that one day I would be the girl who gave you children or the one you loved enough to leave this shithole for.” Ben kept listening to her. He never told her he loved her because there was something that held him back, he hoped that giving her all those things would show her he loved her. He had no idea that it would seem that he bought her patience. Even now, when he felt this was his last chance to show her, he cramped up thinking, I’m no good for her, she deserves a man who says he loves her every day. “Sweetheart, I ... I’m sorry.” he said while stepping back giving her space. Y/N’s heart dropped “So that’s it? I’m sorry?” Ben didn’t even look at her anymore hoping she wouldn’t see his tears. Y/N looked around starting to feel suffocating, nauseous. That was the day she left Vought.  

Y/N wanted Ben to make things right, she knew it was up to him. Ben on the other hand wanted to make things right, but he knew she was better off without him. Two stubborn souls.  

Ben had become more irrational, irritating, drugs and drank addicted than before. He made more mistakes than ever and didn’t even care anymore. Little did Y/N and Ben know that Payback and Vought planned to take out Ben in a year. 

---  

The phone rang: “Hello?”  

 

“Y/N... Y/N Is that you?” said the voice crying on the phone. “CC? What is going on.”  

“Ben... he, he.. ” She started but couldn’t finish that sentence. “No, that’s not possible CC. Tell me that is not possible!” Y/N dropped to the floor. “We tried to fight Y/N, really, all of us, we tried to safe him, but the Russians were with so many. They had this weapon... he fought hard but they... I held his dead body Y/N. He didn’t breathe no more.” CC blurred this out while crying. “Y/N? Y/N I'm sorry...I know you loved him, and I know he loved you... I’m so sorry Y/N.” But she didn’t answer anymore. Y/N hung up the phone still sitting on the floor. Y/N felt like her entire body just had been crushed, she couldn’t move. All she could do is stare at the floor in front of her. Y/N stayed in that same spot until her parents walked in her apartment after hearing the news on the TV. Her mother came running down to her hugging her, the second Y/N felt the arms of her mother she started to cry hysterical.  

CC invited Y/N to the memorial, she stood next to her holding her hand. Both crying over the man they lost. All of Vought pretending to have loved Soldier Boy, but she knew better. Half of these idiots don’t even know him, the rest hated him. Gunpowder came towards Y/N, the only man she knew who looked up to Ben. He gave her a little box. “You left this at your office, Ben... he kept it, wanting to return it one day.” He said with tears in his eyes. Y/N opened the box, the pearls he gave her for Christmas a few years back. Y/N’s eyes started to water again. “Thank you.” She said soft pulling him in a hug.  

Y/N lived the next 7 years of her life mourning Ben. Thinking what if she wasn’t as stubborn, what if she picked up the phone and talked to him, begged him to stop and start a family with her, but instead she waited for him to contact her. As she got older, she got peace with the fact that Ben tried to change for her before knocking at her door again, she could see the good now, better late than never. But she never really fell in love anymore, afraid of getting through the same painful experience.  

 By the time she was 60 she met a nice widower, Marc. He understood her grieve and gave her the time she needed, as she gave him his space to mourn his wife. It took quite some time before she allowed him in her life, they were friends first before accepting more. He showered her with love and attention. His kids even loved her, his grandkids called her grandma.  

Today it’s Y/N’s 70th birthday. She invited Marc’s kids and the grandkids and decided to have a family barbecue in the garden. After her parents passed away, she inherited their house. And lived there ever since. It was a perfect day for her. The sun was shining, Marc’s sons manned the grill holding a beer, Marc was playing with the kids, music in the background. Y/N came outside with the drinks when she heard a voice she didn’t hear in a long, long time.  

“Hi sweetheart.”  Y/N turned around.” That voice, no it can’t be.” she thought.  

Piercing her eyes a little, at first glance she didn’t recognise him. But then her heart dropped, it was like looking at a ghost. “Ben?” He smiled softly. “Ben!” She dropped the plate she was holding on to the terrace. “This can’t be.” The family came running towards the noise of glass shattering on the floor.  

Y/N moved towards Ben placing her hand on his face. “It is really you, isn’t it?” Marc looked at the strange man in their back yard, he looked like a wanderer with his beard and long hair. “Honey?” He asked trying to make her come back to earth. “Marc, this ... this is Ben.” She turned back at Ben. “I thought you were dead. I mourned you.” “I wished I was.” He answered softy. She offered Ben a shower, her daughter in law cut his hair and beard a little while Y/N prepared a plate with something to eat. He sat down at the table to tell his story what had happened, what they did to him. After that it got quiet. Your family left the table and gave you some space, so you walked around the garden. “He seems like a nice man, beautiful family.” He said a little jealous. “Marc is sweet, his kids, their kids really make me feel loved.” “His kids?” he asked. “Yeah, I never got married.” She said a little ashamed to admit. “I only know Marc for 10 years.  

“I’m glad you found what you deserved.” “Why did you come here Ben? Don’t get me wrong. It is amazing seeing you.” She looked him in the eye. He saw that young shy yet driven woman again that he once loved. “When I was in Russia, I thought a lot about you. And I thought to myself if I ever get out here, I’m going to tell her.” - “Tell me what?” She asked.   

Ben locket eyes with her. He leaned in, holding her cheek and kissed her softly on the lips.  

 

“I love you.”  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading. If you liked this, please check out my masterlist for other stories.

I got the request for an alternative ending. The first part will remain the same following up the fight they had at Vought.

[snowdrop-ivy]

The Light Within: I - The Night We Met

Summary: In a world where danger lurks at every corner, will Anna and Bucky find the strength to confront their pasts and embrace a future together, or will their scars keep them apart forever?

A/N: Hey! I know I have a lot of pending series but I just got out of my writer's block so I'm starting a new one! Hope you enjoy this! Okay, this is a little long. This is a series based on MCU! Also, I changed the titles to songs I listen to while I write them.

Word Count: 6,534

Run

That’s always her first thought. That’s what her parents and sister said to her. Just run. From the bad things even in the good ones. She doesn’t draw the line to it, instead she just runs. That’s how Tony adopted her, she ran to his arms crying after a few Hydra agents ransacked their house trying to abduct her and her sister. Why? Anna and her sister, Joey, had a special ability. Joey can bend air and fire and she also has telekinesis and Anna can fly and has psychokinesis, mental manipulation, and she can project anything she wants to a person’s mind and thoughts, God! She can even project a force field like her dad. She can make you think what she wants to make you think. That’s why they wanted them both but Anna was able to use her powers against them and then she ran, she just ran till she bumped into Tony. She did not ask for help and she was supposed to run again but Tony stopped her, brought her home, and she stayed there. Tony, until now, doesn’t know why he brought her home. At first, Anna stayed in her room. Locked away and crying. It wasn’t when Tony spent his nights outside her room and just talked. He talked about his day, what made him happy or sad, he talked about everything until she came out, physically, until she regained confidence and trust to talk about what happened. Tony did not judge, though it’s in his nature, for her, he did not. He listened and laughed when she joked, and cried whenever she misses her family. They were two peas in a pod some might say. She was one of the few people he opened up to and vice versa. People wouldn’t believe him whenever he tells the story of how he adopted her. They thought it was just some political bullshit to make them believe he was one of the good guys. I mean, an arrogant, narcissist billionaire adopting a 7 year old girl out of the blue? That’s not how they see him. But for them, it did not matter. What matters is that they have each other. Tony changed himself for her. He brought her clothes, enrolled her to the most expensive school, and gave her the world. In return? Anna gave him happiness and fulfillment in life.

When Tony got ambushed in the desert. Anna locked away again. She tried to find him everywhere. Pepper and Happy tried everything to make her eat, drink, or come out of her room but they failed. Anna only wanted Tony so when he came back his first thought was Anna's wellbeing. That was the first time Tony told him how much he loves her like his kid. That was also Anna’s first time in a long time where she felt she had a family. Even though it was just the two of them.

“Tony?” Anna knocked on his door on his first night back. Tony opened the door slightly and invited her in before he sat down on his desk chair. “Who was that?”

“Nobody, honey,” He answered, quickly flipping down the Avenger initiative file and turning to her. “What’s up?”

“Are you okay?” She gently asked. Her eyes bloodshot from the nights she cried when he was away. Tony felt a sting on his chest even though the reactor was there.

Tony quickly got up and engulfed her in a hug. He repeatedly told her he was okay and kissed her head. Anna shook her head. “I can feel you’re hurt.”

“It’s just a scratch, honey. I’m okay,” he lifted her chin, wiping her tears. Tony looked into her eyes and he felt, in that moment, that he was dad. Not just some guy who took her in. “Okay?”

She nodded and grabbed his arm before inspecting his scratches. Without stalling, she healed her. Tony’s muscles tensed when he saw his scratches healed. He saw in the mirror behind her that even the slightest wounds on his face were healed. The aches of his joints, gone. Even the pain on his back. The one where he paid the most expensive chiropractor to remedy it. Gone. His eyes went round as he looked at her, her innocent and charming face, as chatty as he ever was, in that moment he was lost for words. Not because he was disgusted but because he had the sense on why Hydra wanted her. He knew he had to keep her safe. And that’s why he refused the Avenger initiative but agreed to be a consultant for S.H.I.E.L.D in return, they have to keep her safe.

As she grew, the more resilient she became. Her agility grows faster than the grass in spring. That’s when Tony made her train with Natasha. Anna was more than happy to do it. She became like Tony, a smart mouth, and he was okay with it. He was content whenever he saw her grow into the strong, smart, confident, kind woman she is. When the Avengers formed, Fury and Tony had a disagreement when Tony knew that she would be a part of it. He was scared, well, he knows she can more than take care of herself but the thought of her child getting hurt doesn’t sit well with him.

“Dad,” Anna followed her Tony who stormed out of the room. She held his arm to look back at her but Tony was quick to gather it back. Anna had no choice but to use her mind to make him turn to her. “I’m not your enemy here.”

“I know! I know that! But I will not let you come with us! It’s too dangerous!” Tony paced back and forth. He took a deep breath before cupping her face tightly so that her cheeks were squashed. “I can’t lose you, kid.”

“You will not. I promise,” she promised. And she kept her promise. After the battle in New York she laid low. She did not work for S.H.I.E.L.D. She just went home after they ate shawarma. She continued to live as simply as she could. She applied as an intern at Stark Industries and continued to live with him. Tony did not want her to move out. He was clear on that.

Anna spent most of her time drawing. She drew pictures of everybody she met. She gave one to Steve, Natasha, Clint, and Banner. She tried to give one to Thor but they don’t have UPS in Asgard. She drew pictures of her family, as much as she could as she could feel her memories of them slipping away. She doesn’t have pictures of them, that's why she just draws them. There were times when she could feel them, her last vivid memory was when they were having dinner. Her dad was joking about the food her mom cooked. Her mom was rolling eyes. And her sister was whispering nonsense to her just to make her laugh. There were also times where she could feel the sadness of it. She’d get nightmares of HYDRA on her doorstep. She’d dream of her family. She’d sometimes use her power just to make her back in that moment. She’d hug and kiss them one last time.

Anna finished her bath when she heard her phone ring. It was a message from Nat with an address. She tried to call the number back but no one answered. She quickly got her bag and drove to the address. It was a trailer. She got more confused as she’d never seen it before. Steve opened the door and quickly let her in before looking around then closed the door. Natasha, Steve, and a guy were there. Nat and Steve looked crappy. Like they came from an explosion.

“What the hell happened?” Her forehead creased. She took in their sights. She sighed before healing them both. Once done, all of them sat down on the sofa before Steve told her that Fury is dead, Tony’s dad’s death may not have been an accident, and the HYDRA’s experiment on this winter soldier program. Anna took in a sharp breath before tilting her head. She fought back her tears. “Do you think they killed my family?”

The three looked at each other. Steve held her hand and gently squeezed. “We don’t know the answer to that.”

“We need to know!” She insinuated. Anna stood up, her fists clenching into a ball. “I need to know, Steve!”

Natasha met her gaze. She held her arms, consoling her. “We will get there. I owe that to you but now, we have to focus. Okay?”

Anna read her mind. She can see her honesty, her fear, her kiss with Steve which was a little disgusting. She nodded, agreeing to them. She went to the kitchen to get a drink while the two cleaned themselves. Anna met Sam, also a veteran like Steve. She sat down on the table finishing her water when Sam sat down in front of her. “Hey.”

She looked at him, smiling a bit. “Hey, Sam.”

“You okay?” He asked, his head bowed down. Anna saw that he was scared of her.

“Why are you scared of me?” Sam’s eyes widened. He shook his head, in his head, he was embarrassed. “I can read you.”

“Like a book?” He sized her up. The corner of his mouth lifted.

“Yeah,” She smirked and nodded. “Like a book.”

“Oh yeah?” His tone questioned his powers. He leveled with her gaze, he rested his hands on the table. “What am I thinking now?”

Anna tried to stifle her smile. She saw he was thinking of boobs. She studied him. She saw Nat and Steve came out and sat beside them. “Steve’s ass,” she glanced sideways then answered, copying his posture. “You’re thinking about Steve’s ass.”

“I was not. Dude! I’m not gay!” Sam quickly averted his look to Steve and shook his head. “Hey! Play fair!”

They laughed at him as he stormed to the kitchen to make some food. Steve gave her a bump before sitting on the lover’s chair. He peered outside before rubbing his chin. Nat got up and leaned on the counter as Sam went back to place food on the table.

“The real question is who at S.H.I.E.L.D could launch a domestic missile strike?” She questioned, looking at Steve.

“Pierce,” Steve answered, looking away.

“Who happens to be on the top of the most secure building in the world?” Anna crossed her legs before drinking water. “That’s easy.”

Steve looked at her. “He’s not working alone. Zola’s algorithm was on the Lemurian Star.”

Nat gasped. “So was Jasper Stillwell.”

She ate the food while the tree talked about how Fury was abducted. Sam gave out files and pictures of his previous work as a pararescue. That’s how they were able to kidnap Fury in broad daylight. Steve was hesitant on having Sam help them out as he got out of war for a good reason and all of a sudden, he’s back in action. In the end, all of them devise a plan to gather information from Stillwell.

Anna kicked Stillwell on the chest, bursting the door open. A grunting Stilwell rolled on the floor. Steve followed closely. “Tell me about Zola’s algorithm.”

Stillwell quickly gathered his glasses but Anna smashed it. He looked at her. Anna gave her a smile in return. “I’ll buy you a new one if you answer.”

“Never heard of it,” he panted, walking backwards till he felt the ledge on his thighs.

“What were you doing on the Lemurian Star?”

“I was throwing up. I got seasick,” Stillwell gasped when he had nowhere to walk back.

Steve grabbed his collar and lifted him up. Steve’s nose flared as he hoisted him higher. Stillwell held his hands, his legs flailing. “Is this little display meant to insinuate that you’re gonna throw me off the roof? Because it’s really not your style, Rogers.”

“You’re right, it’s not,” He placed him down, cleaning his collar. “It’s theirs.”

Nat kicked him down the roof before turning to Anna. “What about Dave? From Accounting?”

“Gabe,” Anna rolled her eyes. “Tongue piercing.”

“You’re dating again?” Steve asked. She nodded and smiled. “Me too!”

That was when Sam flew up with Stillwell, throwing him back on the roof before landing there. He crossed his arms once he landed. “What do you think? Falcon, baby!”

“Like the bird?” Anna winced before shaking her head.

Sam rolled his eyes. They surrounded Stillwell. He held his hands up in defeat before rambling out that Zola’s algorithm is a program for choosing insight targets.

“What targets?” Anna demanded to know.

“You!” He halfheartedly laughed. “A TV anchor in Cairo, the Under Secretary of Defense, Bruce Banner, Stephen Stranger, and Tony’s daughter. Anyone who’s a threat to HYDRA now or in the future.”

Anna gave him a kick in the face before lifting him upside down. “How did you find me? How could it know?” She then let him fall down on the ground.

“Zola reads people’s past to predict their future,” He admitted. Sighing in defeat as he knows someone will kill him. Anna had the sense that he will. I mean, who wouldn’t kill him after he released that information?

“And then what?” Anna asked.

“Then that Insight helicarries scratch people off the list.”

Steve lunged forward. “When?” Sam held back Stillwell to prevent him to make extra movements.

“When?” He asked again.

“A few million at a time.”

Anna felt a pit to her stomach. She felt their gaze on her. Death has been her enemy. Her biggest enemy. When she was younger, all she wanted to be was dead. Resting in peace with her family. But now that she found her family, she had a sense of living. She was granted a new life and she thanks whatever God there is for it. She grabbed Stillwell by his tie and rushed to his car. The three followed her as she slammed him inside and got in. Natasha got on the other side. Sam drove the car. Steve was in the passenger seat. Sam stepped on the gas as they drove on the freeway. Natasha was shooting her concerned looks. Anna could hear their thoughts, all of them, which makes her hate her powers.

Stillwell was anxiously moving in his seat. “HYDRA doesn’t like leaks.”

“Then why don’t you try sticking a cork in it?” Sam shot back, looking at him through the rearview mirror.

Natasha peeked at the men in front. “Insight’s launching in 16 hours.”

“Yep,” Anna agreed, nodding her head while looking outside. “Which means in 16 hours I might be dead. So you know, we need to rush.”

They turned their heads at her. Not knowing if she’s being facetious or not. She returned their looks with a glare and faked a smile before looking outside. Steve looked back at her. “You won’t die. Not you or other people.”

“Oh yeah?” Anna snickered. “Are you God? How can we even stop this thing?”

Steve’s jaw clenched. “We’ll use him to bypass the DNA scans and access the helicarriers directly.”

“What? Are you crazy?” Stillwell leaned in between them. “That is a terrible, terrible idea.”

Steve was about to answer when they heard a thud on the roof of the car and Stillwell was dragged outside, tossing him off the freeway. Nat tried to pull him back but was too late. Shots were made through the roof making them dove forward seating on Sam’s and Steve’s laps. Sam slammed on the brakes making the “assassin” fly off the roof but he was fast to tumble and used his, what looks like, metal arm to halt his movement. He stood up, eyeing them. Anna attempted to use her projection to stop him but she came to nothing. She got out her gun and was about to shoot him when a truck slammed on them, throwing her gun on the ground. They were pushed forward till the “assassin” jumped on the roof again. The brakes were squealing as she patted on her gun on the floor. His metal hand smashed the rear glass and tugged on the steering wheel then quickly pulled Anna, choking on her neck, out of the car. They screamed her name while Nat shot repeatedly to the roof hoping to aim him.

“What the hell do you want?” Anna said in between breaths as she felt his metal hand tightening around her neck. Her legs are flailing trying to find something to step into. The assassin jumps from their car to the truck, still holding her to her neck. But she can feel it loosening, she breathed in between. She could smell her musky scent. She could hear his rapid heartbeat. But she couldn’t read him, she couldn’t project anything on his mind. The truck slammed onto the car once pushing it to the rail. The three got out by slamming the door open, leaping outside. Anna powered her mind to the car striking it to the post splitting it into two. She then powered on to her friends, slowing down their speed. As her friend screeched into a halt, so did the truck. But the assassin held out his gaze on her, she saw the color of his eyes: Blue. Not the blue in the ocean, but it was in hue like a piercing icy blue, almost translucent. She stared at it before he tossed her to them, Steve was quick to catch her. He hopped down as a man handed him a grenade launcher. Steve pushed Nat and Anna out of the way as the shot was made to him, he held his shield up, and was catapulted off the freeway slamming him to a bus. More men followed and fired on them. Sam and Nat hid behind cars while Anna projected a force field and swung the guys off, and flung them away. Anna walked towards them till the only one standing was the guy with the mask. Nat aimed at him but he fired back, blowing the car in front of her, which made her dove to the other side.

“Hey!” Anna shouted, her voice cutting through the chaos. She saw his eyes flicker in her direction, momentarily distracted from his aim. In a split second, she crushed his launcher, the sound of metal crumpling echoing in the air. She felt his surprise morphed into fury as he charged at her like a bull. Anna’s heart raced, adrenaline surging through her veins. She bolted to the side just as he swung his fist, the wind from his strike whooshing past her. With quick reflexes, she slid down, darting between his legs like a shadow in the night.

Using the momentum, Anna quickly jabbed at his ribs, her fist connecting with a satisfying thud. He grunted, stumbling slightly as she rolled away, ready to evade his retaliation. With a growl, he lunged at her again, swinging wildly. Anna ducked under his arm and delivered a swift kick to the back of his knee, bringing him down to the ground with a thud. Before he could react, she was on him, pinning him down and ready to strike. She got her pocket knife out of her holster. Her left was on his neck, pinning him harder, her right an inch away from him but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Her hands trembled, her breaths were quick and fast. She tried to move but she couldn’t. She tried to summon the courage to strike, to end it right there, but an invisible weight held her back. Just as doubt began to creep into her mind, he retaliated with a sudden ferocity. In an instant, the tables turned. He flipped them over with a swift motion, leaving her stunned as her head slammed against the unforgiving ground. Pain shot through her skull, and a sharp gasp escaped her lips.

With brutal efficiency, he pinned her hand down with his arm, trapping her. She could feel the heat radiating from his body, the intensity of his presence overwhelming. His hand brushed against her arm, the grip tighter than a suit, grounding her in the moment.

Time seemed to freeze as their eyes locked, a storm of emotions swirling between them. She searched his gaze for any sign of weakness, any hint of fear, but found only a steely resolve that sent shivers down her spine. In that heartbeat, the world around them faded away, leaving just the two of them locked in a battle of wills.

Then, as suddenly as it began, he released her arm, the grip loosening. He sat back, still staring intently at her, a mixture of confusion and admiration flickering in his eyes. He murmured, his voice low and gravelly, under his breath that she wasn’t able to hear. She didn’t respond, her heart still pounding, uncertainty flooding her mind. What was he thinking? What did this moment mean?

With one last look that seemed to pierce through her soul, he stood up, leaving her breathless and disoriented on the ground. In that fleeting second, everything had changed. Anna sat up, holding her head to search for blood but there was nothing. She got up and saw Sam walking towards her.

“Are you okay?” He asked, holding her while he checked for bruises. “Where is he?”

She was lost for words and breath. She could hear her heart beating out of her chest so loud as she stood there dazed and confused as to what just happened. Sam asked her once again before she answered, stammering. “I-I don’t know.”

Sam studied her intently, his eyes searching for any sign of uncertainty in Anna as she scanned the chaotic street for him. The atmosphere crackled with tension; Anna felt a magnetic repulsion toward him, pulling her instincts taut. Still gasping for breath, they sprinted through the fray to find Steve and Natasha.

They spotted them on the ground, surrounded by chaos. Steve was crouched low, using his shield to deflect bullets fired by four armed men, while Natasha darted in and out of cover, keeping a watchful eye on the street.

“I’ll help them on the ground; you distract them,” Anna commanded, her voice steady despite the chaos. Without waiting for a response, she jumped down, landing gracefully on the roof of a car. With fierce determination, she began guiding panicked civilians off the street, projecting an invisible barrier around them as a shield against the chaos.

But amidst the mayhem, an assassin locked his eyes on her, observing her every movement with predatory focus. Speaking in hushed tones in Russian, he glanced at the men beside him, a smirk creeping across his face. “I found her. Go find him.”

“Try to kill her this time. That’s the order,” one of the men urged, his voice laced with malice.

With a glare that could pierce steel, the assassin vaulted to the ground, his finger resting ominously on the trigger. He moved stealthily, using the shadows as his ally, stalking Anna like a wolf on the prowl.

Suddenly, he rolled a bomb to the ground, waiting for the deafening explosion that would shatter the air. The blast echoed around them, and in that moment, Natasha leaped onto his shoulder, expertly tying a string around him, attempting to restrain him.

As Anna worked to remove his metal arm, the assassin stumbled back, slamming Natasha against the car with a sickening thud. But Natasha, fierce and unyielding, fought to tighten her grip, refusing to let go.

“A little faster, Anna!” Natasha screamed, urgency coursing through her voice.

Anna pulled with all her might, desperation fueling her efforts, but the assassin quickly retaliated, shoving her against the car, pain exploding through her body as he slammed her down. He then turned his wrath on Natasha, pinning her to the ground with a brutal force.

The two women scrambled in opposite directions, hearts racing, each woman fighting for survival. The assassin held his gun aloft, eyes narrowing as he chose his target. He fired at Natasha first, the bullet grazing her shoulder. She cried out in pain, clutching her wound as she sought refuge behind a car.

Anna frozen, her breath catching as she noticed his glasses had fallen away, revealing piercing blue eyes that sent a chill down her spine.

“You’re pissing me off,” she spat defiantly, determination surging within her as she sprinted toward him, swinging with all her strength.

He countered, capturing her arm and swinging back with brutal precision. The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth as she staggered from the impact. But with fierce resolve, she twisted his arm, leaping onto his shoulder and tightening her grip, refusing to back down.

He stumbled forward, trying to shake her off, but she regained her footing, fists clenched and ready for another strike. Blood dripped from her lips, but there was a fire in her eyes that made the assassin pause, momentarily taken aback.

He hadn’t removed his armor; he stood resolute, fists raised, ready to finish the fight. With a swift motion, he swung his metal arm at her, but Anna ducked just in time, retaliating with a kick that connected squarely with his face.

But he countered quickly, gripping her leg and tumbling her to the ground before launching another punch that connected with her face, pain exploding across her senses. He seized her by the neck, lifting her off the ground, his grip tightening like a vice.

In a desperate attempt to fight back, Anna drew her knife, aiming for his metal arm. But he was too quick, reversing her strike and puncturing her thigh with the blade instead. A scream tore from her throat, a raw sound of agony and defiance.

His eyes widened in horror at his own brutality as he threw her forward, sending her crashing against the car. He paused, staring at the blood dripping from his flesh arm, the realization hitting him like a brick.

In that crucial moment of distraction, Steve appeared like a beacon of hope. He slipped around the assassin’s back, executing a German suplex that sent shockwaves through the air. Steve quickly raised his shield, deflecting the assassin's knife and striking his metal arm with relentless force, pressing down hard, desperate to break it.

When the blow didn’t yield, he darted under the assassin’s arm, landing a punch to his face that sent him reeling. They fought back-to-back, each man relying on the other as the tension thickened. Steve tugged with all his might, ripping the assassin’s mask away in a furious motion.

But when the assassin turned to face Steve, the recognition was instantaneous. Steve’s eyes widened in shock. “Bucky?”

Bucky furrowed his brows, confusion marrying his expression. “Who the hell is Bucky?” he growled, raising his weapon to aim at Steve.

In an instant, Sam soared through the air, colliding with Steve and knocking him out of the line of fire just in time. Anna seized the opportunity, flying to Bucky’s side and delivering a fierce kick that sent him stumbling. She followed up with a blow to his knee, forcing him to lean against the car for support, his glare cutting through the chaos.

“Down!” Natasha shouted, her voice commanding as she fired a grenade launcher at the car Bucky leaned on.

The explosion erupted in flames, consuming the car and sending Bucky spiraling into the shadows. Anna and Steve quickly searched the area for any sign of him, but before they could regroup, an armored van screeched to a halt behind them.

Mercenary soldiers poured out, surrounding them with weapons drawn, shouting for them to get on the ground. Confusion swept over Steve as he complied, kneeling in disbelief. This wasn’t Bucky; Bucky was his friend.

As they cuffed them and dragged them inside the armored van, a chilling realization settled in Steve’s gut. The man he once knew was gone, replaced by a shadow of the past, lost to the chaos of war.

“It was him,” Steve murmured, his gaze fixed on the ground as if it held the answers to the shattered fragments of his memories. “He looked right at me like he didn’t even know me.”

“How is that even possible? It was, like, 70 years ago,” Sam replied, his brow furrowed in confusion, trying to grasp the reality of the situation unfolding around them.

“Zola,” Natasha interjected, glancing at Anna as she tended to her injured shoulder, the weight of the revelation settling heavily in the air.

“Bucky’s whole unit was captured in ‘43. Zola experimented on him. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall. They must’ve found him and…” Steve’s voice faltered, choked by the weight of his thoughts.

Tears welled in Anna’s eyes, and she reached out, her voice soft but firm. “None of that’s your fault, Steve.”

But Steve shook his head in disbelief, anguish etched into his features. “Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky.”

As they sat in the confines of the prison van, a sudden burst of chaos erupted when one of the guards stunned the other. To their astonishment, she revealed herself to be Hill. With swift precision, she used a Mouse Hole to cut an opening in the van, leading them to freedom.

Hill led them to a hidden facility where Fury lay recovering. The director hadn’t died as they’d feared; instead, he had taken an anti-stress serum developed by Banner, lowering his heartbeat to a mere pulse, making him appear dead to the world.

Meanwhile, Bucky was trapped in the lab, reduced to a mere lab rat. He sat on a chair, the sterile environment around him a cruel reminder of his past. Tears glistened in his eyes as the memories surged forth—the screams of Anna echoing in his mind, the warmth of their friendship eclipsed by the icy grip of his transformation into the Winter Soldier. The haunting images of his fall from the train and the soldiers dragging him from the ice replayed in his mind like a tormenting nightmare.

Suddenly, the weight of his despair exploded within him. He swung at the doctors surrounding him, sending them flying across the room. He remained seated, his breath coming in ragged gasps as the chaos of his thoughts swirled around him. Just then, Pierce entered the room, his presence suffocating.

“Mission report,” Pierce commanded, his tone brooking no argument.

Bucky, lost in a tempest of emotions, remained silent, his mind reeling between visions of Anna and Steve. When Pierce pressed for an answer again, he struck Bucky across the face, but the pain barely registered through the haze of his thoughts.

“The man on the bridge? Who was he?” Bucky pressed. His voice was low, a growl that betrayed his distrust. “I knew him.”

Pierce leaned closer, his voice dripping with false reassurance. “Your work has been a gift—”

“How about the girl?” Bucky interrupted, his anger bubbling to the surface.

Pierce chuckled darkly. “The one you did not kill? She was a HYDRA experiment.”

In that moment, a flicker of emotion sparked within Bucky, a feeling he couldn’t quite name. “You were there… the house in Oswego, a family you ransacked. That was her. She got out. Faster than you. We felt that we should just get her instead of you.”

Bucky's jaw clenched, a newfound resolve flooding through him. He may not know Anna well, but now, the desire to protect her surged within him, deeper than guilt or obligation—it was an instinct.

Pierce continued, spinning webs of lies about how Bucky was shaping the world, but Bucky felt his chest tighten, despair gripping him like a vice. He inhaled sharply, trying to stave off the tears that threatened to spill.

“Prep him,” Pierce ordered, standing up with a cruel finality. “He’s been out of the cryo freeze too long. Then wipe him and start over.”

Despair washed over Bucky like a tidal wave, a profound sense of loss sweeping through him. He couldn’t—he didn’t want to lose the memories of Anna and Steve. As he was shoved back into his seat, tears brimmed in his eyes. He bit down on the mouthguard so hard that he could feel it crack under the pressure.

With every deep, fast breath, he braced himself for the upcoming agony, the cold metal of the electrical magnet pressed against his head. As the searing pain coursed through him, he screamed, his voice echoing with anguish, fighting against the current that threatened to erase the flickering memories of his newfound connections.

Meanwhile, Anna, sensing the anguish from afar, stood up, clutching her chest as a pang shot through her. Steve rushed to her side, confusion etched on his face as he repeatedly asked if she was okay. She nodded, forcing herself to shut her brain off, taking a deep breath to calm the turmoil within. With a reassuring nod, she settled back down, leveling her breath as Fury explained the dire situation.

Hill and Fury revealed that Project Insight was only hours away from activation. The Helicarriers would ascend to 3,000 feet, connecting to the Insight Satellites, ready to zero in on their targets before firing. The only way to prevent the catastrophe was to acquire three special chips that would sever S.H.I.E.L.D. 's control over the Helicarriers.

The World Security Council arrived at the Triskelion, each member donning a badge granting unrestricted access. Little did they know, chaos was brewing. In the shadows, Rogers, Wilson, and Hill stealthily infiltrated the facility, taking control of communications. “Six minutes,” Hill reminded them.

“Hey, Sam, gonna need a ride,” Steve said through his comms.

Anna was on the roof. Battling agents. “Aw you don’t need me,” She faked sadness as she shot another agent.

Sam flew around the helipad. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

Steve lunged forward to jump. “I just did.”

Sam soared through the chaos, grasping Steve’s arm and urging him toward Anna’s side at the Helicarrier. They landed on the floor and rushed forward, only to be confronted by Bucky, whose actions had already crippled Sam’s jetpack. Rogers, who made it, and Anna tried to place the final chip when Bucky confronted him on the bridge.

“People are gonna die, Buck,” Steve panted, urgency lacing his voice. “I can’t let that happen. Please, don’t make me do this.”

Bucky stood frozen, grappling with the fog of his mission and the echoes of his past. Just then, Anna emerged behind him, weapon drawn. “I’ll do it,” she declared, her gaze unwavering.

Bucky turned to face her, locking eyes in a moment thick with tension. Anna’s finger rested on the trigger, and as she gently squeezed, Bucky stepped closer, his voice a chilling whisper. “Shoot.”

In an instant, Steve lunged forward, colliding with Bucky. A fierce struggle ensued, each blow echoing like thunder in the confined space. Bucky fought with unyielding ferocity, directing his strength primarily at Steve, leaving Anna to navigate the chaos around them.

As the battle raged on, Anna focused intently on inserting the final chips into the Helicarrier. Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through her legs, radiating up to her arms. She gasped, collapsing to the ground, her breaths quick and shallow. From her vantage point, she saw Steve wrestled down by Bucky, who leveled a gun at her.

“Shoot,” she managed to choke out, her voice strained but defiant.

Bucky’s eyes reflected a storm of conflict as he peered into hers. She could see the doubt flickering within him, and he could sense her pain penetrating the barriers he’d built around himself. His grip on the gun trembled, the weapon almost slipping from his grasp.

But just then, Steve struck from behind, snapping Bucky back into combat mode. Seizing the opportunity, Anna crawled toward the chipset, fighting through the pain that threatened to engulf her. With a final surge of determination, she locked the last chip into place.

“Charlie locked,” she gasped, relief flooding through her even amidst the chaos. She closed her eyes, allowing the pain to take her away. No energy or strength to heal herself.

The moment Anna opened her eyes, she was greeted by the stark white walls of a hospital room, the sterile scent of antiseptic filling the air. She blinked against the harsh light, realizing she was dressed in a hospital gown. As her gaze shifted, she spotted Steve sitting beside her, his head hung low in exhaustion.

“Hey,” she called softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Startled, Steve lifted his head, relief flooding his features as he met her gaze. He moved closer, helping her sit up comfortably, adjusting the pillow behind her back.

“How you feeling?” he asked, concern etched in his brow as he settled back into his chair.

“Shitty,” Anna replied, attempting a smile, but the effort was met with a sharp wince that shot through her body. She glanced down at herself, inspecting her skin for any signs of injury. No bullet wounds, no scrapes. “Why am I here if I'm okay?”

Steve sighed, a mix of frustration and humor in his voice. “Tony insisted.”

Anna pursed her lips, a knowing look passing between them. “Let me guess? He brought you hell?”

“More like Satan possessed him,” Steve joked, a hint of a grin creeping back onto his face.

They shared a laugh, the tension momentarily easing, but it quickly faded into silence as they both stared at the wall. Finally, Steve broke the stillness. “He saved you.”

Anna’s heart skipped a beat, surprise washing over her. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Steve confirmed with a nod. “When I lifted the metal off him, I told him I wasn’t going to fight anymore. Then he looked at you and strapped you into a parachute before we fell into the water.”

Her mind raced with his words, caught in a whirlwind of emotions. She didn’t know whether to feel flattered or conflicted. Time passed as they healed, and they frequently saw Sam. Tony gave her a hard time as well, prompting her to take time off work to volunteer at the museum.

What they didn’t know was that Bucky had escaped from HYDRA after Pierce’s death. He slipped into an empty apartment, grappling with his newfound freedom, desperate to find Anna.

One day, as he wandered through the museum, he came across an exhibit dedicated to Captain America. His heart raced when he spotted her—Anna, wearing tight jeans and a fitted blazer, guiding a group of kids around the displays. For the first time in a long while, a genuine smile crept onto his face, warming him from within.

He found a shadowed spot behind a post, watching her with an intensity he hadn’t felt in years. He studied her every move, the way she interacted with the children, the twinkle in her eye that spoke of joy and life. In that moment, he made a silent promise to himself: he would do everything in his power to keep that smile on her face.

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